A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 114:
READING CAMPS—A JUBILEE MINISTRY IDEA!
The idea comes from the Diocese of Lexington, but it is being implemented in both Ohio dioceses and elsewhere. The isolated and impoverished areas of rural Appalachia have chronic problems with poor reading progress. Children clearly need more help than the school term can provide. So the church is offering reading camps for children at risk of falling behind. Lexington offers one-week camps at its Cathedral Close camp facility at Irvine, KY. There are also some parish-sponsored day camps, providing an alternative plan.
Reading camps are for children entering grades two to four. They are identified as slow readers by their schools. The children are invited to apply to the Reading Camps, and the camps are free, sponsored by churches. Trained volunteers run the program.
A typical day of Reading Camp would involve morning reading tutoring for three hours, with the children rotating through six learning stations, each featuring a different aspect of reading instruction. And they love it, typically having no idea they are being taught!
After lunch, the focus shifts to other life skills, one of which is swimming instruction: a high proportion of rural mountain children do not know how to swim, and are therefore vulnerable to drowning accidents. Additionally, they get lots of TLC and encouragement, which can be just as important as any of the instruction. A high staff-to-pupil ratio is required.
This is what Sunday School started out to be: extra attention to reading instruction for poorer children who suffered from lack or inadequacy of public schooling! If your congregation, ministry group, or deanery is looking for a cooperative ministry venture, consider Reading Camp. Now would be the time to begin planning for a start-up next summer.
Monday, August 15, 2011
A Volley from the Canon, Number 113, Hospice and Nursery
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 113
PARALLEL DEVELOPMENT: HOSPICE AND NURSERY
We Episcopalians should be good at handling generational shifts by now. We’ve had considerable experience, most of it negative, and now we get to find out whether we’ve learned anything or not.
We had a doozy back when I was the young generation. At that time, there was a vast chasm between my generation and that of our parents. We seemed to have nothing in common and talked right past one another, with little comprehension. We had huge altercations over tiny matters, which seemed of critical importance to both sides. In the Church, a “little” thing like revising the Book of Common Prayer, long overdue, split us right down the middle, and generationally. The only way bishops found to get the “new” BCP into pews in most churches was to require it, forcibly. Yet in so doing, we sacrificed a very large chunk of our membership, a great loss to all. It became as if the 1928 BCP was somehow bad, a harmful thing to be rid of a quickly and thoroughly as possible. In fact, though it needed revision and updating, that book and others very like it had inspired and sustained our church for generations past.
So now I’m the old guy. I have a modicum of sympathy now with my parents, but do I want to cling as desperately, arbitrarily, and belligerently to my ways of doing things, to the exclusion and rejection of the young people? Conversely, to make a fulfilling place in the church for young adults and their peers, do we need to alienate and run out all of the people my age and older? My hope is that this time, we can try harder to minister to both.
Oldsters, hang it up! We have to allow change in our church’s ways, if we are going to survive as a church past our own funerals. We aren’t going to comprehend or appreciate all of these changes, but neither did our parents respond favorably to ours. It is part of the natural order.
Youngsters, have patience with us relics. You need us, too, while we last. Create a space in church life for your tastes and interests, and leave us a space for ours, too. We need to find a way to be church together, even if we do it separately for a time.
As a church, we are going to have to multi-task for a decade or so. We are going to have to be “nursery” for The Episcopal Church 7.3, or whatever, that is a-borning, and put aside our anxiety long enough to let it become whatever it is to be. This calls for faith on our part, that God is indeed in charge, not us, and that God will abide with her church. At the same time, we are also going to have to be “hospice” for the old church that is passing away. We must provide a place of solace, peace, and comfort for those of us whose sensibilities are of an earlier time that is fading, but not yet past.
It is complicated, but much better than the alternatives before us. In the end, the gyres of the generations will turn, with us or without us. The ways of neither group are bad or objectionable, really. They are just different.
PARALLEL DEVELOPMENT: HOSPICE AND NURSERY
We Episcopalians should be good at handling generational shifts by now. We’ve had considerable experience, most of it negative, and now we get to find out whether we’ve learned anything or not.
We had a doozy back when I was the young generation. At that time, there was a vast chasm between my generation and that of our parents. We seemed to have nothing in common and talked right past one another, with little comprehension. We had huge altercations over tiny matters, which seemed of critical importance to both sides. In the Church, a “little” thing like revising the Book of Common Prayer, long overdue, split us right down the middle, and generationally. The only way bishops found to get the “new” BCP into pews in most churches was to require it, forcibly. Yet in so doing, we sacrificed a very large chunk of our membership, a great loss to all. It became as if the 1928 BCP was somehow bad, a harmful thing to be rid of a quickly and thoroughly as possible. In fact, though it needed revision and updating, that book and others very like it had inspired and sustained our church for generations past.
So now I’m the old guy. I have a modicum of sympathy now with my parents, but do I want to cling as desperately, arbitrarily, and belligerently to my ways of doing things, to the exclusion and rejection of the young people? Conversely, to make a fulfilling place in the church for young adults and their peers, do we need to alienate and run out all of the people my age and older? My hope is that this time, we can try harder to minister to both.
Oldsters, hang it up! We have to allow change in our church’s ways, if we are going to survive as a church past our own funerals. We aren’t going to comprehend or appreciate all of these changes, but neither did our parents respond favorably to ours. It is part of the natural order.
Youngsters, have patience with us relics. You need us, too, while we last. Create a space in church life for your tastes and interests, and leave us a space for ours, too. We need to find a way to be church together, even if we do it separately for a time.
As a church, we are going to have to multi-task for a decade or so. We are going to have to be “nursery” for The Episcopal Church 7.3, or whatever, that is a-borning, and put aside our anxiety long enough to let it become whatever it is to be. This calls for faith on our part, that God is indeed in charge, not us, and that God will abide with her church. At the same time, we are also going to have to be “hospice” for the old church that is passing away. We must provide a place of solace, peace, and comfort for those of us whose sensibilities are of an earlier time that is fading, but not yet past.
It is complicated, but much better than the alternatives before us. In the end, the gyres of the generations will turn, with us or without us. The ways of neither group are bad or objectionable, really. They are just different.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 112, Story Corps
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 112:
MAKE YOUR OWN ‘STORY CORPS’
You’re probably familiar with “Story Corps,” an initiative of the Library of Congress, best-known through the broadcasts of National Public Radio. The Library of Congress is recording and preserving the life stories, some episodes, anyway, of ordinary Americans. If you’ve heard the NPR broadcasts, you know that some of the segments are far from ordinary.
People in our congregations have extraordinary tales to tell, too. Some may be things they’ve never shared with anyone at all before, but that they’d like to leave with family members or friends, if they have the chance. So why not create your own parish “Story Corps” service—not necessarily for public consumption, but for private record. This activity can be a particularly effective ministry to persons in a hospice situation, whether in a designated hospice facility or not.
Just get a simple (i. e., easy for YOU to use) tape recorder with a URL port, so that the recording can be downloaded. Ask the person if they would like to be interviewed, and with whom they would like the story shared (that can wait until after they see what comes out, if need be). Have your questions ready (sample ones are on the “Story Corps” website at http://storycorps.org/record-your-story/¬). Turn on the machine, ask a question, and enjoy.
If you like, and the interviewee agrees, you can make a video, and if they consent (a waiver is necessary), you can post it on YouTube. More likely, you’ll be producing a flash drive or CD for family members. Be sure to honor the instructions of the interviewee about sharing.
Through deliberate story-listening, pastors can be attentive to a church member at a very significant time, perform their pastoral ministry, and hear some great stories, all at once.
MAKE YOUR OWN ‘STORY CORPS’
You’re probably familiar with “Story Corps,” an initiative of the Library of Congress, best-known through the broadcasts of National Public Radio. The Library of Congress is recording and preserving the life stories, some episodes, anyway, of ordinary Americans. If you’ve heard the NPR broadcasts, you know that some of the segments are far from ordinary.
People in our congregations have extraordinary tales to tell, too. Some may be things they’ve never shared with anyone at all before, but that they’d like to leave with family members or friends, if they have the chance. So why not create your own parish “Story Corps” service—not necessarily for public consumption, but for private record. This activity can be a particularly effective ministry to persons in a hospice situation, whether in a designated hospice facility or not.
Just get a simple (i. e., easy for YOU to use) tape recorder with a URL port, so that the recording can be downloaded. Ask the person if they would like to be interviewed, and with whom they would like the story shared (that can wait until after they see what comes out, if need be). Have your questions ready (sample ones are on the “Story Corps” website at http://storycorps.org/record-your-story/¬). Turn on the machine, ask a question, and enjoy.
If you like, and the interviewee agrees, you can make a video, and if they consent (a waiver is necessary), you can post it on YouTube. More likely, you’ll be producing a flash drive or CD for family members. Be sure to honor the instructions of the interviewee about sharing.
Through deliberate story-listening, pastors can be attentive to a church member at a very significant time, perform their pastoral ministry, and hear some great stories, all at once.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 111, Walking to Jerusalem
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 111
“WALKING TO JERUSALEM”
Here’s an idea that can help church members with their fitness goals, provide them some time for prayer and reflection, or for companionship, and build community spirit at the same time. As a congregation, “Walk to Jerusalem” (or someplace of your choosing.)
1) Find out how far is it to your destination, and have someone make a map showing the route as a mileage chart. Hang that in a convenient and visible place.
2) Invite members of the congregation (and non-members, too!) to sign up as walkers and keep a log of their own walking distances day by day. Members may walk whenever, wherever, and with whomever, they like. If they run, fine! This is about distance, not speed.
3) Every week receive reports from the walkers of miles walked during the week.
4) Mark on the map your group’s progress for all to see.
5) Set a goal for “reaching Jerusalem,” and plan a celebration for when you “arrive.”
6) Consider some Christian Formation possibilities along the way, about the Holy City, its sites and events, and the concept of pilgrimage in the Christian context.
7) Celebrate!
If you have a small group, maybe a walk to some other, closer holy place (like Peterkin, or Washington Cathedral) would be more appropriate. Either way, your congregation’s walking pilgrimage may be a significant event for your congregation, and it certainly will be significant for the health and fitness of members.
“WALKING TO JERUSALEM”
Here’s an idea that can help church members with their fitness goals, provide them some time for prayer and reflection, or for companionship, and build community spirit at the same time. As a congregation, “Walk to Jerusalem” (or someplace of your choosing.)
1) Find out how far is it to your destination, and have someone make a map showing the route as a mileage chart. Hang that in a convenient and visible place.
2) Invite members of the congregation (and non-members, too!) to sign up as walkers and keep a log of their own walking distances day by day. Members may walk whenever, wherever, and with whomever, they like. If they run, fine! This is about distance, not speed.
3) Every week receive reports from the walkers of miles walked during the week.
4) Mark on the map your group’s progress for all to see.
5) Set a goal for “reaching Jerusalem,” and plan a celebration for when you “arrive.”
6) Consider some Christian Formation possibilities along the way, about the Holy City, its sites and events, and the concept of pilgrimage in the Christian context.
7) Celebrate!
If you have a small group, maybe a walk to some other, closer holy place (like Peterkin, or Washington Cathedral) would be more appropriate. Either way, your congregation’s walking pilgrimage may be a significant event for your congregation, and it certainly will be significant for the health and fitness of members.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 110 Buy Local
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 110
HELP WITH BUYING LOCAL
Many of us are striving to buy more local produce, thereby supporting our neighbors, getting the freshest products, and saving all that jet fuel from ferrying vegetables and such across the globe. If you have such an interest, check out
http://www.localharvest.org/
Put your own zip-code into the search and find out what farms are listed for your area, and what produce they are offering.
Of course, the many local farmers’ markets are active this time of year, too.
Bon appétit!
HELP WITH BUYING LOCAL
Many of us are striving to buy more local produce, thereby supporting our neighbors, getting the freshest products, and saving all that jet fuel from ferrying vegetables and such across the globe. If you have such an interest, check out
http://www.localharvest.org/
Put your own zip-code into the search and find out what farms are listed for your area, and what produce they are offering.
Of course, the many local farmers’ markets are active this time of year, too.
Bon appétit!
Monday, July 25, 2011
From The Dayspring, Fall 2011: "Don't Give"
Don’t Give!
Of course, I don’t’ really mean ‘don’t give.’ I mean, ‘Don’t give--MUCH!’ It’s your money. You earned it, out of your own skill, your own time, your own strength, and your own effort. No one helped you. No one gave you anything . You are a self-made person, and you did it all by yourself. When did any door open for you that you did not bust open for yourself? Don’t ever let anyone chip away at that assurance, and get you to thinking that you actually got a leg up somehow, by the family or even country you were born into, or the help and attention, or opportunities, your family, teachers, or others gave you, or any God-given gifts, skills, or even personality traits you may have been blessed with. You’re you! You earned it! Take the credit!
You will give something, because you are a member of the church. Just in case. If there is a hell, well, the company there might be more fun, but if the church folks are right about it, the climate is not so great, and the work conditions are not exactly white-collar—so, on the whole, if there is a heaven, you might as well go, if you can’t live forever. You are aware that you’ve never seen a hearse towing a U-haul trailer. At least they won’t be shaking you down for money in heaven—not that there would be anything fun to spend it on!
But DON’T hand in a pledge card. Who knows what catastrophe may strike during the coming year, or what neat new thing you might want to spend your money on? There’s probably a wall-sized LED TV in production somewhere, and you know you gotta have it. Also, you’d have to give, then, every week or month, not just when you actually attend church.
No, you want to contribute only when you are present to place your gift in the offering, and others can see you do it. Here’s what I recommend: look in your purse or wallet, and see what is the smallest denomination bill you have in there. If it is a dollar, you could give two and look extra generous. But be sure to fold them several times so that the numbers don’t show. A five is about right for a single-bill donation. Never, under any circumstances, go to church with only a bill larger than twenty alone in your wallet. Even the twenty is for desperate circumstances. You know you are not going to put that fifty in, so then you’d be unable to place anything into the offering plate at all, if it’s all you have, and someone would be bound to see that. The change in your pocket is fine, though, as long as there is an envelope in the pew you can place it in, to cut down on that comical and embarrassing clatter in the plate--although they must be expecting change, because they have that velvet pad in the bottom of the basin. (And in the above instance, when you just don’t have any cash appropriate for a church offering, just hand in the empty offering envelope—without your name on it, of course.)
If you can swing it (like if you listened to announcements or read the newsletter at the right time to know when the Pledge Sunday would be), stay home that day. Otherwise, you might panic or succumb to guilt and pressure, and hand in a card. That would result in lasting grief for you.
In fact, don’t go to any stewardship programs or meetings. They are just not worth the free food. (See how clever these people are, how manipulative? They know all our weaknesses and they exploit them shamelessly.) You know they’re going to talk about money—your money. It will be cheaper for you, seriously, to buy your own lunch.
If you do accidentally get exposed to some teaching on Stewardship, don’t let them get you to begin to think of Stewardship in terms of other areas of life beyond just money. It’s a process of contagion and indoctrination, just a technique for tricking you into thinking that money is just another aspect of life, and that God is somehow involved in that.
Or, alternatively (and this will work almost as well), if they are talking about all that other life stuff, don’t let anyone bring money into the circle—if you can keep the focus on health, time, gifts, environment, not money, you can save thousands.
In the area of health—you’re doing the best you can. It’s mostly genetic anyway. You take your prescriptions. You watch your weight, so you can fit into your skinny jeans. (And you know fat people don’t get promoted.) So you’re taking care of yourself.
Time—what time? You don’t have any to spare. You hardly have time for a round of golf or a day of shopping, and you certainly don’t have time for any kind of activity that might be called “ministry.”
Talents, gifts—that’s an easy one, you don’t have any. Oh, sure, you have education, you have knowledge, you have skills. But those are yours, not God’s. Don’t let that camel stick its nose under your tent flap!
Concerning the environment—you don’t litter. What more can anyone expect? It isn’t as if you have any control over anything. How could anyone reasonably expect you to involve yourself in any ecological advocacy that could possibly reduce the value of your stock portfolio, even temporarily! Sure, it’s ironic, if you think about it, that one can take total credit for every aspect of one’s own success—none for God--and yet take no responsibility at all for the impact on the earth, of the economy that produced that success—lay it all on God—but don’t think about that. That sort of thinking is for wishy-washy, mamby-pamby, milque-toast people. You know that human activity cannot affect God’s creation: that is a theological principle, a matter of religious faith! And you are a religious person. Be strong!
So don’t put up with any talk about stewardship at any time of year other than the annual pledge drive, when it is a hard-to-avoid annoyance. You know it’s all about pledging, anyway, and if they spread it out, you may have difficulty avoiding the subject, or preventing “topic creep,” the expansion of the subject of stewardship beyond money and into other unrelated areas of life, which can be awkward.
Now this is very important: Don’t look at your own giving history. It’s depressing, if you are susceptible to that sort of navel-gazing. The only reason you would need to know your total giving would be to deduct it from your income taxes, but if you follow the rest of my suggestions carefully, you won’t give enough to make any significant difference anyway, so that is not really important to you.
Above all, don’t figure the amount of your giving as a percentage of your income. That is one of their sneaky traps to make us feel guilty. Guilt is bad for you! It is stressful and unhealthy. The shock, if you are in a vulnerable moment, could put you in the hospital. It could be dangerous to your health, and hospitalization would certainly be dangerous to your pocket-book.
When you let someone, or even yourself, lay guilt on you, you get to a point where the only cure would be, a) to stop doing what is making you feel guilty, and b) ask God or the person you wronged to forgive you. Since you have no intention to stop looking out for number one, and you’re much too proud and self-sufficient to seek forgiveness, by all means avoid feeling guilt at all times, even if it keeps you away from church and Sunday School for months at a time.
Thinking about giving in terms of percentage is fraught with other, more practical dangers. Keep it at the fund-raising level. Demand to know exactly what is the minimum amount the church needs to keep the lights on and the doors open—no raises, no extra staff, no frills! Fix the furnace when it breaks. Patch the roof when it leaks, not before. People who work for the church want to live simply and make sacrifices, so it is only charitable on your part to help them do it.
Remember—if everyone did give proportionally, particularly if everyone tithed, your congregation would have a brand new and unheard of problem: what to do with a large sum of excess money. You know they would only give it away! Most likely to poor people who might not even deserve the help. After all, didn’t Jesus always check whether people deserved to be healed or fed before he helped them? -- Well, even if he didn’t, that’s Jesus, not you. What does his response have to do with yours? You’re only human—he’s…whatever. And don’t ask him about that! That could just start up a conversation you don’t want to get into. Best not to bring it up.
Or, with all that money, they would spend some of it on useless items like formation programs, children’s and youth activities, care and activities for the elderly, that sort of thing—projects that either aren’t needed or that ought to pay their own way. When (and if) you ever have a few extra bucks to waste, like from a huge inheritance, or when your accountant recommends it to reduce your taxes, make sure you buy some piece of obscure liturgical paraphernalia that won’t get used much, so it will last a long time. Centuries, even. And be sure you get your name engraved on it. Don’t waste such an opportunity for earthly immortality.
Now, this is even above “above all:” Don’t pray about your own stewardship. Better yet, to be safe, don’t pray at all, unless you need to ask for something. What if God answers that prayer with questions of his own-- and challenges? If you don’t want to hear the answer to a question, don’t ask the question. Even with God. Especially with God.
Don’t ever forget that the practice of giving generously would change you! In ways you can hardly now imagine! Do you really want that? They tell us all the time that God loves us just as we are, so why mess with that? Becoming compassionate, non-judgmental, and generous-hearted now would be over-achievement. It would be like handing in your research project two or three weeks before it was due. Of course, in our case, we are not quite sure when it is due, or even when the semester ends…but don’t worry about that. Cramming for finals is a long-practiced Christian tradition, dating back at least to the Emperor Constantine, who was baptized on his deathbed. Now that guy had it down pat! Sure, you’re going to become harp-worthy one of these days. But why rush it?
If you follow these cautions very intentionally, you will succeed in keeping your money in your bank and investment accounts, where it belongs, and not in the hands of irresponsible church leaders who will only misspend it. This plan will guarantee that your church will remain lean and mean, like your business, the way you want it. It will stifle unnecessary and wasteful “ministries” that only coddle the irresponsible and idle poor, such as the homeless and the unemployed, at the expense of hard-working, home-owning, upright citizens. It will keep out the riff-raff, and hold down membership rolls to manageable levels. Also, the less money that comes in to the congregation, the less they pass on to the diocese, and that is always a positive side-effect.
I do not guarantee that you will always be able to pay the full salary of a seminary-trained, professional priest, a music director, a church secretary, or a sexton, and certainly you won’t be wasting money on a Christian educator or youth leader. But if you play your cards right, you can probably get as clergy someone just as good-- well-read, and experienced in practical clergying, for practically nothing, and you may be able to cut down on some of the clergy meddling and unrealistic expectations, if you can keep that role down to part-time. The other should be done by volunteers who haven’t much else to do, anyway.
It’s your money, and your mouth—put them both where you want them to serve you best. I’ve laid out the alternatives before you as frankly and plainly as I know how. Now ask yourself: what kind of church, and what kind of community, do I want to live in? What kind of God do I want to worship and serve, and what does God want for me? Surely, the very best! Am I really willing to drive the Camry or Avalon next time instead of the Lexus? Can I wear my outfits a few more times, or switch to some less fashionable brands without dying from embarrassment? Can I drink the Americano sometimes, rather than the Caramel Mocha Latte, and not barf? Could one of our long-weekend getaways be to one of the state resorts instead of Kiawah? If the answer to these and other questions like them is a resounding ‘NO,’ then I’ve just equipped you with resolve to hold your ground and keep up your standards for personal self-care.
But the choice is yours. You decide. Only you can.
Of course, I don’t’ really mean ‘don’t give.’ I mean, ‘Don’t give--MUCH!’ It’s your money. You earned it, out of your own skill, your own time, your own strength, and your own effort. No one helped you. No one gave you anything . You are a self-made person, and you did it all by yourself. When did any door open for you that you did not bust open for yourself? Don’t ever let anyone chip away at that assurance, and get you to thinking that you actually got a leg up somehow, by the family or even country you were born into, or the help and attention, or opportunities, your family, teachers, or others gave you, or any God-given gifts, skills, or even personality traits you may have been blessed with. You’re you! You earned it! Take the credit!
You will give something, because you are a member of the church. Just in case. If there is a hell, well, the company there might be more fun, but if the church folks are right about it, the climate is not so great, and the work conditions are not exactly white-collar—so, on the whole, if there is a heaven, you might as well go, if you can’t live forever. You are aware that you’ve never seen a hearse towing a U-haul trailer. At least they won’t be shaking you down for money in heaven—not that there would be anything fun to spend it on!
But DON’T hand in a pledge card. Who knows what catastrophe may strike during the coming year, or what neat new thing you might want to spend your money on? There’s probably a wall-sized LED TV in production somewhere, and you know you gotta have it. Also, you’d have to give, then, every week or month, not just when you actually attend church.
No, you want to contribute only when you are present to place your gift in the offering, and others can see you do it. Here’s what I recommend: look in your purse or wallet, and see what is the smallest denomination bill you have in there. If it is a dollar, you could give two and look extra generous. But be sure to fold them several times so that the numbers don’t show. A five is about right for a single-bill donation. Never, under any circumstances, go to church with only a bill larger than twenty alone in your wallet. Even the twenty is for desperate circumstances. You know you are not going to put that fifty in, so then you’d be unable to place anything into the offering plate at all, if it’s all you have, and someone would be bound to see that. The change in your pocket is fine, though, as long as there is an envelope in the pew you can place it in, to cut down on that comical and embarrassing clatter in the plate--although they must be expecting change, because they have that velvet pad in the bottom of the basin. (And in the above instance, when you just don’t have any cash appropriate for a church offering, just hand in the empty offering envelope—without your name on it, of course.)
If you can swing it (like if you listened to announcements or read the newsletter at the right time to know when the Pledge Sunday would be), stay home that day. Otherwise, you might panic or succumb to guilt and pressure, and hand in a card. That would result in lasting grief for you.
In fact, don’t go to any stewardship programs or meetings. They are just not worth the free food. (See how clever these people are, how manipulative? They know all our weaknesses and they exploit them shamelessly.) You know they’re going to talk about money—your money. It will be cheaper for you, seriously, to buy your own lunch.
If you do accidentally get exposed to some teaching on Stewardship, don’t let them get you to begin to think of Stewardship in terms of other areas of life beyond just money. It’s a process of contagion and indoctrination, just a technique for tricking you into thinking that money is just another aspect of life, and that God is somehow involved in that.
Or, alternatively (and this will work almost as well), if they are talking about all that other life stuff, don’t let anyone bring money into the circle—if you can keep the focus on health, time, gifts, environment, not money, you can save thousands.
In the area of health—you’re doing the best you can. It’s mostly genetic anyway. You take your prescriptions. You watch your weight, so you can fit into your skinny jeans. (And you know fat people don’t get promoted.) So you’re taking care of yourself.
Time—what time? You don’t have any to spare. You hardly have time for a round of golf or a day of shopping, and you certainly don’t have time for any kind of activity that might be called “ministry.”
Talents, gifts—that’s an easy one, you don’t have any. Oh, sure, you have education, you have knowledge, you have skills. But those are yours, not God’s. Don’t let that camel stick its nose under your tent flap!
Concerning the environment—you don’t litter. What more can anyone expect? It isn’t as if you have any control over anything. How could anyone reasonably expect you to involve yourself in any ecological advocacy that could possibly reduce the value of your stock portfolio, even temporarily! Sure, it’s ironic, if you think about it, that one can take total credit for every aspect of one’s own success—none for God--and yet take no responsibility at all for the impact on the earth, of the economy that produced that success—lay it all on God—but don’t think about that. That sort of thinking is for wishy-washy, mamby-pamby, milque-toast people. You know that human activity cannot affect God’s creation: that is a theological principle, a matter of religious faith! And you are a religious person. Be strong!
So don’t put up with any talk about stewardship at any time of year other than the annual pledge drive, when it is a hard-to-avoid annoyance. You know it’s all about pledging, anyway, and if they spread it out, you may have difficulty avoiding the subject, or preventing “topic creep,” the expansion of the subject of stewardship beyond money and into other unrelated areas of life, which can be awkward.
Now this is very important: Don’t look at your own giving history. It’s depressing, if you are susceptible to that sort of navel-gazing. The only reason you would need to know your total giving would be to deduct it from your income taxes, but if you follow the rest of my suggestions carefully, you won’t give enough to make any significant difference anyway, so that is not really important to you.
Above all, don’t figure the amount of your giving as a percentage of your income. That is one of their sneaky traps to make us feel guilty. Guilt is bad for you! It is stressful and unhealthy. The shock, if you are in a vulnerable moment, could put you in the hospital. It could be dangerous to your health, and hospitalization would certainly be dangerous to your pocket-book.
When you let someone, or even yourself, lay guilt on you, you get to a point where the only cure would be, a) to stop doing what is making you feel guilty, and b) ask God or the person you wronged to forgive you. Since you have no intention to stop looking out for number one, and you’re much too proud and self-sufficient to seek forgiveness, by all means avoid feeling guilt at all times, even if it keeps you away from church and Sunday School for months at a time.
Thinking about giving in terms of percentage is fraught with other, more practical dangers. Keep it at the fund-raising level. Demand to know exactly what is the minimum amount the church needs to keep the lights on and the doors open—no raises, no extra staff, no frills! Fix the furnace when it breaks. Patch the roof when it leaks, not before. People who work for the church want to live simply and make sacrifices, so it is only charitable on your part to help them do it.
Remember—if everyone did give proportionally, particularly if everyone tithed, your congregation would have a brand new and unheard of problem: what to do with a large sum of excess money. You know they would only give it away! Most likely to poor people who might not even deserve the help. After all, didn’t Jesus always check whether people deserved to be healed or fed before he helped them? -- Well, even if he didn’t, that’s Jesus, not you. What does his response have to do with yours? You’re only human—he’s…whatever. And don’t ask him about that! That could just start up a conversation you don’t want to get into. Best not to bring it up.
Or, with all that money, they would spend some of it on useless items like formation programs, children’s and youth activities, care and activities for the elderly, that sort of thing—projects that either aren’t needed or that ought to pay their own way. When (and if) you ever have a few extra bucks to waste, like from a huge inheritance, or when your accountant recommends it to reduce your taxes, make sure you buy some piece of obscure liturgical paraphernalia that won’t get used much, so it will last a long time. Centuries, even. And be sure you get your name engraved on it. Don’t waste such an opportunity for earthly immortality.
Now, this is even above “above all:” Don’t pray about your own stewardship. Better yet, to be safe, don’t pray at all, unless you need to ask for something. What if God answers that prayer with questions of his own-- and challenges? If you don’t want to hear the answer to a question, don’t ask the question. Even with God. Especially with God.
Don’t ever forget that the practice of giving generously would change you! In ways you can hardly now imagine! Do you really want that? They tell us all the time that God loves us just as we are, so why mess with that? Becoming compassionate, non-judgmental, and generous-hearted now would be over-achievement. It would be like handing in your research project two or three weeks before it was due. Of course, in our case, we are not quite sure when it is due, or even when the semester ends…but don’t worry about that. Cramming for finals is a long-practiced Christian tradition, dating back at least to the Emperor Constantine, who was baptized on his deathbed. Now that guy had it down pat! Sure, you’re going to become harp-worthy one of these days. But why rush it?
If you follow these cautions very intentionally, you will succeed in keeping your money in your bank and investment accounts, where it belongs, and not in the hands of irresponsible church leaders who will only misspend it. This plan will guarantee that your church will remain lean and mean, like your business, the way you want it. It will stifle unnecessary and wasteful “ministries” that only coddle the irresponsible and idle poor, such as the homeless and the unemployed, at the expense of hard-working, home-owning, upright citizens. It will keep out the riff-raff, and hold down membership rolls to manageable levels. Also, the less money that comes in to the congregation, the less they pass on to the diocese, and that is always a positive side-effect.
I do not guarantee that you will always be able to pay the full salary of a seminary-trained, professional priest, a music director, a church secretary, or a sexton, and certainly you won’t be wasting money on a Christian educator or youth leader. But if you play your cards right, you can probably get as clergy someone just as good-- well-read, and experienced in practical clergying, for practically nothing, and you may be able to cut down on some of the clergy meddling and unrealistic expectations, if you can keep that role down to part-time. The other should be done by volunteers who haven’t much else to do, anyway.
It’s your money, and your mouth—put them both where you want them to serve you best. I’ve laid out the alternatives before you as frankly and plainly as I know how. Now ask yourself: what kind of church, and what kind of community, do I want to live in? What kind of God do I want to worship and serve, and what does God want for me? Surely, the very best! Am I really willing to drive the Camry or Avalon next time instead of the Lexus? Can I wear my outfits a few more times, or switch to some less fashionable brands without dying from embarrassment? Can I drink the Americano sometimes, rather than the Caramel Mocha Latte, and not barf? Could one of our long-weekend getaways be to one of the state resorts instead of Kiawah? If the answer to these and other questions like them is a resounding ‘NO,’ then I’ve just equipped you with resolve to hold your ground and keep up your standards for personal self-care.
But the choice is yours. You decide. Only you can.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 109, Negative Feedback
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 109
HOW TO OFFER NEGATIVE FEEDBACK, WITHOUT SETTING OFF A WORLD WAR
No guarantees on the World War, frankly. People vary in their sensitivity, and some people are poised to blow sky-high at the slightest whiff of criticism. But there are times when someone says or does something that is hurtful to us, and it is going to harm our relationship if we let that fester. Worse, If they don’t know of their fault (and we may not be talking about the most intuitive sort of person here), how could they reform their behavior? Why would they avoid doing it again?
Now, for starters, we are considering here someone with whom we do have a need to continue to have a relationship, preferably a good one. It may be a family member or friend. If it is someone we’ll never see again, then we might not choose to bother, unless we have the altruistic purpose of wanting to help spare some other person a similar hurt. However, another factor to consider might be whether the other person has any hopes of continuing to have a decent relationship with US! If not, then we’ll at least find that out in this little experiment.
PINCH OR CRUNCH
One slight may not seem all that bad, on the face of it. In fact, we might feel awkward bringing it up, as if we are being too picky. If we don’t, though, and the word or deed is repeated or accelerated, that could lead to a real altercation later, with lasting negative consequences, perhaps drawing in the allied forces of both sides. It is better to deal with an affront when it is smaller and singular, and before it has had a chance to grow in significance within us over time and further damage the relationship. We can deal better with the PINCH (a small and isolated incident) before it becomes a CRUNCH (a serious matter, or a cluster of pinches).
When people share the terminology, it is relatively easy to say, at an appropriate time, “Hildegarde, may I speak with you about a pinch I have with you?” Even if Hiildegarde has not read this Volley, she’ll probably get the message easily enough. Hildegarde now knows two things: 1) You are displeased with something that she has done, and 2) it isn’t a huge deal. She may have an idea what it might be, but in any case, she will not be able to resist knowing for sure, and her castle drawbridge has no reason to be raised. She will HAVE to hear you out.
(Caution: if what you have is really a crunch, not a pinch, don’t down-play it.)
Now come the two all-important formulaic elements of the process:
1) State clearly and specifically what happened, and when. By all means, avoid generalities, especially “you always…” or “you never….” Those are incendiary devices not to be deployed here. For example, “Last Sunday, when you thanked all the people who helped with the church dinner, you didn’t even mention me or my famous ham loaf.” We are talking about one incident, not recorded history.
2) Then state precisely what emotion, not what thought, the experience evoked in you. Not, for example, “I felt you must not like me.” That’s a thought disguised in a feeling phrase. “I felt hurt at being overlooked,” would be much more accurate. If you need help, Google “feeling words.”
At this point, be quiet and listen. Hildegard will need to respond. Since you have not charged her with chronic or malicious behavior, the chances of her being able to rise above defensiveness or reactive anger herself are greatly improved. The opportunity exists for the air to be cleared between you, for some sincere and humble communication to take place, and for reconciliation to occur. At the very least, the two of you now have a greater understanding of one another and, it is to be hoped, a greater respect. I’m sure, at the very least, YOU respect yourself more!
Contrast this process with what we usually do—complain about Hildegard’s rude and inconsiderate behavior to all of our friends behind her back—and it’s easy to see how this more direct, yet measured approach holds the possibility of better results. More than that, though, it offers another benefit that may be even more important: it builds integrity, both ours and the other person’s.
HOW TO OFFER NEGATIVE FEEDBACK, WITHOUT SETTING OFF A WORLD WAR
No guarantees on the World War, frankly. People vary in their sensitivity, and some people are poised to blow sky-high at the slightest whiff of criticism. But there are times when someone says or does something that is hurtful to us, and it is going to harm our relationship if we let that fester. Worse, If they don’t know of their fault (and we may not be talking about the most intuitive sort of person here), how could they reform their behavior? Why would they avoid doing it again?
Now, for starters, we are considering here someone with whom we do have a need to continue to have a relationship, preferably a good one. It may be a family member or friend. If it is someone we’ll never see again, then we might not choose to bother, unless we have the altruistic purpose of wanting to help spare some other person a similar hurt. However, another factor to consider might be whether the other person has any hopes of continuing to have a decent relationship with US! If not, then we’ll at least find that out in this little experiment.
PINCH OR CRUNCH
One slight may not seem all that bad, on the face of it. In fact, we might feel awkward bringing it up, as if we are being too picky. If we don’t, though, and the word or deed is repeated or accelerated, that could lead to a real altercation later, with lasting negative consequences, perhaps drawing in the allied forces of both sides. It is better to deal with an affront when it is smaller and singular, and before it has had a chance to grow in significance within us over time and further damage the relationship. We can deal better with the PINCH (a small and isolated incident) before it becomes a CRUNCH (a serious matter, or a cluster of pinches).
When people share the terminology, it is relatively easy to say, at an appropriate time, “Hildegarde, may I speak with you about a pinch I have with you?” Even if Hiildegarde has not read this Volley, she’ll probably get the message easily enough. Hildegarde now knows two things: 1) You are displeased with something that she has done, and 2) it isn’t a huge deal. She may have an idea what it might be, but in any case, she will not be able to resist knowing for sure, and her castle drawbridge has no reason to be raised. She will HAVE to hear you out.
(Caution: if what you have is really a crunch, not a pinch, don’t down-play it.)
Now come the two all-important formulaic elements of the process:
1) State clearly and specifically what happened, and when. By all means, avoid generalities, especially “you always…” or “you never….” Those are incendiary devices not to be deployed here. For example, “Last Sunday, when you thanked all the people who helped with the church dinner, you didn’t even mention me or my famous ham loaf.” We are talking about one incident, not recorded history.
2) Then state precisely what emotion, not what thought, the experience evoked in you. Not, for example, “I felt you must not like me.” That’s a thought disguised in a feeling phrase. “I felt hurt at being overlooked,” would be much more accurate. If you need help, Google “feeling words.”
At this point, be quiet and listen. Hildegard will need to respond. Since you have not charged her with chronic or malicious behavior, the chances of her being able to rise above defensiveness or reactive anger herself are greatly improved. The opportunity exists for the air to be cleared between you, for some sincere and humble communication to take place, and for reconciliation to occur. At the very least, the two of you now have a greater understanding of one another and, it is to be hoped, a greater respect. I’m sure, at the very least, YOU respect yourself more!
Contrast this process with what we usually do—complain about Hildegard’s rude and inconsiderate behavior to all of our friends behind her back—and it’s easy to see how this more direct, yet measured approach holds the possibility of better results. More than that, though, it offers another benefit that may be even more important: it builds integrity, both ours and the other person’s.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 107 Job Number One
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 107
Unsolicited Advice (and Worth Every Penny of Your Subscription to This Remarkable Service)
“Job Number One”
We clergy spend a lot of time in study, training, and preparation for the job of clergying, whatever that may entail. Three years in seminary is just a warm-up to the many and varied tasks we get involved in. Yet nobody ever clued me in on (after “knowing Jesus”) the most important element—I had to figure it out all by myself (well, partly, perhaps by observing some expert practitioners). I think it is time someone just said it out loud.
Yes, it is important that we know how to preach and teach, to inspire and to motivate. It matters that we can run an efficient and productive meeting, negotiate with terrorists, comfort the afflicted, and tactfully afflict the comfortable. We have to plan, recruit, delegate, monitor, implement, analyze, evaluate, revise, and through it all be prayerful, collegial, and non-anxious. It helps to know something about the Bible, Christian theology and ethics, liturgy, and counseling. We can either be perfect in all of those things, and more, OR—we can practice just one special gift or charism instead, the most important talent of all.
We can love our people. Just love them, sincerely and honestly. That is the most important pastoral skill anyone can ever have, to give the gift of simple enjoyment of the company of other people. Quite frankly, it makes up for many shortcomings in some of those other departments. (It “cover many sins.”) And quite frankly, if we don’t have it, all those other skills are useless to us. If you ask me (and I know you haven’t), there is only one reason to accept the call of a congregation to come live among them and be their rector (or deacon, missioner, or bishop): we fell in love.
We can have law, or we can have grace. Which do we choose?
Donald K. Vinson (The Rev. Canon)
Canon for Congregational Vitality
Diocese of West Virginia
P. O. Box 5400
Charleston, WV 25361
304 541-9963
Unsolicited Advice (and Worth Every Penny of Your Subscription to This Remarkable Service)
“Job Number One”
We clergy spend a lot of time in study, training, and preparation for the job of clergying, whatever that may entail. Three years in seminary is just a warm-up to the many and varied tasks we get involved in. Yet nobody ever clued me in on (after “knowing Jesus”) the most important element—I had to figure it out all by myself (well, partly, perhaps by observing some expert practitioners). I think it is time someone just said it out loud.
Yes, it is important that we know how to preach and teach, to inspire and to motivate. It matters that we can run an efficient and productive meeting, negotiate with terrorists, comfort the afflicted, and tactfully afflict the comfortable. We have to plan, recruit, delegate, monitor, implement, analyze, evaluate, revise, and through it all be prayerful, collegial, and non-anxious. It helps to know something about the Bible, Christian theology and ethics, liturgy, and counseling. We can either be perfect in all of those things, and more, OR—we can practice just one special gift or charism instead, the most important talent of all.
We can love our people. Just love them, sincerely and honestly. That is the most important pastoral skill anyone can ever have, to give the gift of simple enjoyment of the company of other people. Quite frankly, it makes up for many shortcomings in some of those other departments. (It “cover many sins.”) And quite frankly, if we don’t have it, all those other skills are useless to us. If you ask me (and I know you haven’t), there is only one reason to accept the call of a congregation to come live among them and be their rector (or deacon, missioner, or bishop): we fell in love.
We can have law, or we can have grace. Which do we choose?
Donald K. Vinson (The Rev. Canon)
Canon for Congregational Vitality
Diocese of West Virginia
P. O. Box 5400
Charleston, WV 25361
304 541-9963
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A Volley from the Canon, Number 108 A Sample Vestry Covenant
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 107
A SAMPLE VESTRY COVENANT
What follows is an example: each Vestry is encouraged to discuss it and edit it according to their particular circumstances and commitments.
Service on the Vestry of St. Winifred’s Church is an honor, a ministry, and a sign of the congregation’s trust and respect. As members of St. Winifred’s Vestry, we solemnly covenant with one another to exercise this ministry with diligence, mutual respect, and reverence for the mission of God’s Holy Church.
1. Attendance:
• I pledge to attend a minimum of ___% of vestry meetings.
• I pledge to be present from beginning to end, with more than thirty minutes’ absence constituting a missed meeting.
• I pledge to inform the rector/missioner/senior warden (whoever is presiding) as early as possible prior to any meeting that I must miss due to a major impediment such as illness, a work conflict, or a family emergency.
• I understand and support the Vestry’s need to replace me, in accordance with Parish/ Mission By-laws, if I fail to honor these pledges.
2. Leadership:
As a leader of St. Winifred’s I pledge to participate actively in the life of the congregation and in the work of this Vestry.
• I will be faithful and regular in attendance at worship and at parish functions.
• I will take up a fair and equitable portion of the leadership and work of the congregation’s committees, commissions, and task forces.
• I will make and honor a financial pledge to the support of St. Winifred’s. I acknowledge the Tithe as the minimum standard for Christian giving to God’s work, and I pledge to apply myself sincerely toward reaching or exceeding that standard.
• I will be dependable and attentive to the progress of the congregation in all activities.
3. Conduct at Meetings:
• I will speak my mind with both clarity and charity. I understand that I have an obligation as a church leader to express, in our meetings, my honest and sincere convictions on matters that come before the Vestry, and to do so with Christian love for those who hold another view.
• I will maintain civility and decorum in my speech at all times. Specifically, I will wait our turn to speak; I will be brief and to the point; I will address other members in a respectful and courteous manner; I will take care not to speak disparagingly to or of anyone because of their gender, age, perceived ability or intellect, beliefs, sexual orientation., or any characteristic that is part of the nature of the person.
4. Conduct outside of Meetings:
As a leader of St. Winifred’s, I will always strive to be supportive of our church, its Vestry, and its leadership. While maintaining the integrity of my own convictions, I will refrain from sweeping negative criticism of The Episcopal Church and its leaders, our Bishop and Diocese, our congregation, its clergy and lay leaders.
5. Accountability:
All Vestry members are accountable to one another for the keeping of this covenant agreement.
• We agree to examine, periodically, our common life and our adherence to these standards, and we pledge to amend our lives as needed to live into them.
• We agree to call one another to fuller observance of this covenant by gentle, loving, and supportive reminders when we stray from its standards of behavior.
A SAMPLE VESTRY COVENANT
What follows is an example: each Vestry is encouraged to discuss it and edit it according to their particular circumstances and commitments.
Service on the Vestry of St. Winifred’s Church is an honor, a ministry, and a sign of the congregation’s trust and respect. As members of St. Winifred’s Vestry, we solemnly covenant with one another to exercise this ministry with diligence, mutual respect, and reverence for the mission of God’s Holy Church.
1. Attendance:
• I pledge to attend a minimum of ___% of vestry meetings.
• I pledge to be present from beginning to end, with more than thirty minutes’ absence constituting a missed meeting.
• I pledge to inform the rector/missioner/senior warden (whoever is presiding) as early as possible prior to any meeting that I must miss due to a major impediment such as illness, a work conflict, or a family emergency.
• I understand and support the Vestry’s need to replace me, in accordance with Parish/ Mission By-laws, if I fail to honor these pledges.
2. Leadership:
As a leader of St. Winifred’s I pledge to participate actively in the life of the congregation and in the work of this Vestry.
• I will be faithful and regular in attendance at worship and at parish functions.
• I will take up a fair and equitable portion of the leadership and work of the congregation’s committees, commissions, and task forces.
• I will make and honor a financial pledge to the support of St. Winifred’s. I acknowledge the Tithe as the minimum standard for Christian giving to God’s work, and I pledge to apply myself sincerely toward reaching or exceeding that standard.
• I will be dependable and attentive to the progress of the congregation in all activities.
3. Conduct at Meetings:
• I will speak my mind with both clarity and charity. I understand that I have an obligation as a church leader to express, in our meetings, my honest and sincere convictions on matters that come before the Vestry, and to do so with Christian love for those who hold another view.
• I will maintain civility and decorum in my speech at all times. Specifically, I will wait our turn to speak; I will be brief and to the point; I will address other members in a respectful and courteous manner; I will take care not to speak disparagingly to or of anyone because of their gender, age, perceived ability or intellect, beliefs, sexual orientation., or any characteristic that is part of the nature of the person.
4. Conduct outside of Meetings:
As a leader of St. Winifred’s, I will always strive to be supportive of our church, its Vestry, and its leadership. While maintaining the integrity of my own convictions, I will refrain from sweeping negative criticism of The Episcopal Church and its leaders, our Bishop and Diocese, our congregation, its clergy and lay leaders.
5. Accountability:
All Vestry members are accountable to one another for the keeping of this covenant agreement.
• We agree to examine, periodically, our common life and our adherence to these standards, and we pledge to amend our lives as needed to live into them.
• We agree to call one another to fuller observance of this covenant by gentle, loving, and supportive reminders when we stray from its standards of behavior.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 106 Vestry Don'ts
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 106: VESTRY DON’TS
JULY 19, 2011
First of all, DON’T neglect last week’s DO’S list: it is much nicer to focus on positives rather than negatives.
But there are a few things NOT to do with regard to Vestry leadership that ought to be articulated. Some may not be easy to pull off in a very small congregations, in which choices can be very limited (in those instances, having the smallest permissible Vestry (as few as three!) can be a good start.)
1) DON’T nominate someone to the vestry just to placate them and make them “feel included.”
Vestry service calls for the most mature, responsible, committed team players the congregation can produce. Even one obstructive, obstreperous individual can seriously hamper the congregation’s ability to move forward, and the experience is frustrating for all, including the conflicted person.
2) THINK TWICE about steering a new church member to Vestry membership, even when she is very excited about her new church community. If the Vestry is in conflict or any form of dysfunction, a bad early experience could permanently hinder, perhaps even kill, that person’s spiritual growth in the congregation. With excellent tutelage and personal support, on a healthy, committed Vestry, on the other hand, it could be a good formative process.
3) When some in the congregation have conflicts with the clergy in charge, DON’T elect as Senior Warden someone whom the rector does not trust, as a sort of “loyal opposition.” It doesn’t work that way—you’ll get opposition, but not loyalty! The senior warden and the rector must work together closely as a team. Otherwise, all energy is directed toward internal conflict, and none is left for the mission of the church.
4) DON’T re-elect the same people as wardens or trustees indefinitely. While some continuity may be desirable, far better to have many in the congregation fully in touch with all the congregation’s financial affairs. Remember: a complete and transparent report on all property and funds managed by Trustees is required at every annual parish meeting. All church funds are controlled by the Vestry. Make sure terms of service as well as the manner of election (parish meeting or Vestry appointment), are clear and expressed in congregation by-laws, and practice regular rotation in leadership in these roles, as elsewhere.
5) DON’T let the tyranny of a long-term, domineering member kill the congregation by running off every potential new member, and by stymieing all new ideas and leadership. “If we confront him, he may leave!” people say. So what! Better the one that is causing all the trouble than a dozen or more others who need the church and who will be its hope for the future. Stand united as a Vestry for healthy and responsible church manners and for generous inclusion of new members, and make no peace with oppression—inside the Church as well as outside!
JULY 19, 2011
First of all, DON’T neglect last week’s DO’S list: it is much nicer to focus on positives rather than negatives.
But there are a few things NOT to do with regard to Vestry leadership that ought to be articulated. Some may not be easy to pull off in a very small congregations, in which choices can be very limited (in those instances, having the smallest permissible Vestry (as few as three!) can be a good start.)
1) DON’T nominate someone to the vestry just to placate them and make them “feel included.”
Vestry service calls for the most mature, responsible, committed team players the congregation can produce. Even one obstructive, obstreperous individual can seriously hamper the congregation’s ability to move forward, and the experience is frustrating for all, including the conflicted person.
2) THINK TWICE about steering a new church member to Vestry membership, even when she is very excited about her new church community. If the Vestry is in conflict or any form of dysfunction, a bad early experience could permanently hinder, perhaps even kill, that person’s spiritual growth in the congregation. With excellent tutelage and personal support, on a healthy, committed Vestry, on the other hand, it could be a good formative process.
3) When some in the congregation have conflicts with the clergy in charge, DON’T elect as Senior Warden someone whom the rector does not trust, as a sort of “loyal opposition.” It doesn’t work that way—you’ll get opposition, but not loyalty! The senior warden and the rector must work together closely as a team. Otherwise, all energy is directed toward internal conflict, and none is left for the mission of the church.
4) DON’T re-elect the same people as wardens or trustees indefinitely. While some continuity may be desirable, far better to have many in the congregation fully in touch with all the congregation’s financial affairs. Remember: a complete and transparent report on all property and funds managed by Trustees is required at every annual parish meeting. All church funds are controlled by the Vestry. Make sure terms of service as well as the manner of election (parish meeting or Vestry appointment), are clear and expressed in congregation by-laws, and practice regular rotation in leadership in these roles, as elsewhere.
5) DON’T let the tyranny of a long-term, domineering member kill the congregation by running off every potential new member, and by stymieing all new ideas and leadership. “If we confront him, he may leave!” people say. So what! Better the one that is causing all the trouble than a dozen or more others who need the church and who will be its hope for the future. Stand united as a Vestry for healthy and responsible church manners and for generous inclusion of new members, and make no peace with oppression—inside the Church as well as outside!
A Volley from the Canon, Number 105 Vestry Do's
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 105: EFFECTIVE VESTRIES, ‘DO’S’ AND ‘DON’TS’
JULY 11, 2011-- FIRST, TEN DO’S
1. Worship is not an option for a Vestry. It expresses who we are. Every Vestry meeting should begin and end with worship, and not just with a hasty collect. The bookends of prayer enfold and permeate the meeting itself. The Vestry will approach its work differently when it is prayerful. The Vestry meeting will be shorter when there is worship as part of it, not longer: worship eliminates some of the extraneous claptrap of a secular meeting.
a. I suggest appointing someone, not the rector, as “chaplain” to the Vestry. This person has specific responsibility for planning and leading the Vestry’s devotions, and may have license to call for a brief silence or prayer before a weighty decision is to be made. The Chaplain might or might not be a Vestry member, but should be someone who has the Vestry’s trust and respect.
b. As wonderful as Compline is, don’t fall back on it all the time. Vary the worship, and use props such as candles, non-objectionable scents, photographs, rocks, branches, flowers, music, art—anything to involve the senses beyond books and spoken words.
c. Include the opportunity for members to pray about their own needs and concerns, and those of the congregation. Make the Vestry truly a spiritual body, and it will behave like one!
2. Make sure the congregation has a concise, memorable, specific, and meaningful statement of its mission and vision, and that all vestry members, and the congregation in general, know them cold. Keep these up-to-date, and USE THEM to guide the Vestry’s planning.
3. Have a small “Executive Committee” to plan the Vestry meeting agenda. The Rector and Vestry officers would be usual members for such a committee. Send the meeting agenda out to all members at least a couple of days prior to the meeting, and always include an “other business” item so that last-minute or additional matters can be brought up if needed, and to ensure that others do not perceive their matters to be excluded.
4. Move the official Treasurer’s Report to the end of the meeting. That keeps nickel-and-diming everyone to death at a minimum. The Treasurer can still be consulted, during discussion of other agenda items, about where the money could come from to fund a particular proposal.
5. Have a budget, assign areas to particular ministry groups or leaders, and let them manage their responsibilities. It is not necessary for the Vestry to approve items that are within the budget and the scope of activity of a particular officer or committee, though they should keep the Vestry fully informed of their actions through their own regular reports. A Vestry might assign a cut-off amount above which specific approval of an expenditure would be required, and it certainly should require approval (and budget amendment) before any spending beyond the budget allocated.
6. Set a time limit for Vestry meetings. Ninety minutes should be sufficient. Require a two-thirds majority vote to extend the meeting beyond the allocated time (but don’t let worship get pushed off the end!) This discipline is only fair to members, who have other responsibilities, and it cuts down on unnecessary chatter. The pressure is on the presider, however, to gavel in pontificators and “compulsive communicators,” gently, but authoritatively.
7. Establish, and review annually, a Vestry Covenant of behavior that is acceptable in meetings. (A sample will be posted soon as a separate Canon Volley.) Don’t forget to include standards for attendance, and some tool for accountability. If a seat is to be declared vacant after a certain number of absences, that policy should be in the Parish By-laws.
8. Learn and practice effective communication to reduce conflicts, particularly how to state and how to receive negative feedback. (A separate Canon Volley on this is coming, too!)
9. Hold a Vestry Retreat annually, for all Vestry members. The content should be for personal and group growth, or for visioning, not for the conduct of regular Vestry business. A weekend away from home and church is great, but if that is not possible, an over-night or even a day-long get-together with a leader from beyond the congregation itself is better than nothing! Contact Congregational Vitality or Ministry Development Offices for ideas and leadership.
10. Conduct a Mutual Ministry Review approximately one year into a new pastorate, about two years after that, and at least every third year after that. Again, the Canon and the Archdeacon are very happy to assist.
JULY 11, 2011-- FIRST, TEN DO’S
1. Worship is not an option for a Vestry. It expresses who we are. Every Vestry meeting should begin and end with worship, and not just with a hasty collect. The bookends of prayer enfold and permeate the meeting itself. The Vestry will approach its work differently when it is prayerful. The Vestry meeting will be shorter when there is worship as part of it, not longer: worship eliminates some of the extraneous claptrap of a secular meeting.
a. I suggest appointing someone, not the rector, as “chaplain” to the Vestry. This person has specific responsibility for planning and leading the Vestry’s devotions, and may have license to call for a brief silence or prayer before a weighty decision is to be made. The Chaplain might or might not be a Vestry member, but should be someone who has the Vestry’s trust and respect.
b. As wonderful as Compline is, don’t fall back on it all the time. Vary the worship, and use props such as candles, non-objectionable scents, photographs, rocks, branches, flowers, music, art—anything to involve the senses beyond books and spoken words.
c. Include the opportunity for members to pray about their own needs and concerns, and those of the congregation. Make the Vestry truly a spiritual body, and it will behave like one!
2. Make sure the congregation has a concise, memorable, specific, and meaningful statement of its mission and vision, and that all vestry members, and the congregation in general, know them cold. Keep these up-to-date, and USE THEM to guide the Vestry’s planning.
3. Have a small “Executive Committee” to plan the Vestry meeting agenda. The Rector and Vestry officers would be usual members for such a committee. Send the meeting agenda out to all members at least a couple of days prior to the meeting, and always include an “other business” item so that last-minute or additional matters can be brought up if needed, and to ensure that others do not perceive their matters to be excluded.
4. Move the official Treasurer’s Report to the end of the meeting. That keeps nickel-and-diming everyone to death at a minimum. The Treasurer can still be consulted, during discussion of other agenda items, about where the money could come from to fund a particular proposal.
5. Have a budget, assign areas to particular ministry groups or leaders, and let them manage their responsibilities. It is not necessary for the Vestry to approve items that are within the budget and the scope of activity of a particular officer or committee, though they should keep the Vestry fully informed of their actions through their own regular reports. A Vestry might assign a cut-off amount above which specific approval of an expenditure would be required, and it certainly should require approval (and budget amendment) before any spending beyond the budget allocated.
6. Set a time limit for Vestry meetings. Ninety minutes should be sufficient. Require a two-thirds majority vote to extend the meeting beyond the allocated time (but don’t let worship get pushed off the end!) This discipline is only fair to members, who have other responsibilities, and it cuts down on unnecessary chatter. The pressure is on the presider, however, to gavel in pontificators and “compulsive communicators,” gently, but authoritatively.
7. Establish, and review annually, a Vestry Covenant of behavior that is acceptable in meetings. (A sample will be posted soon as a separate Canon Volley.) Don’t forget to include standards for attendance, and some tool for accountability. If a seat is to be declared vacant after a certain number of absences, that policy should be in the Parish By-laws.
8. Learn and practice effective communication to reduce conflicts, particularly how to state and how to receive negative feedback. (A separate Canon Volley on this is coming, too!)
9. Hold a Vestry Retreat annually, for all Vestry members. The content should be for personal and group growth, or for visioning, not for the conduct of regular Vestry business. A weekend away from home and church is great, but if that is not possible, an over-night or even a day-long get-together with a leader from beyond the congregation itself is better than nothing! Contact Congregational Vitality or Ministry Development Offices for ideas and leadership.
10. Conduct a Mutual Ministry Review approximately one year into a new pastorate, about two years after that, and at least every third year after that. Again, the Canon and the Archdeacon are very happy to assist.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 104 Precedent and Tradition
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 104: PRECEDENT AND TRADITION
JULY 5, 2011
In conversation with a senior warden, I suggested a couple of activities as possibilities to get the congregation “unstuck” and refreshed—to increase involvement, spirit de corps, and enthusiasm for the parish life.
“We could do that first thing, I guess,” was his response. “We have done that in the past, so there is some precedent for it, though we haven’t done it recently. The other, though, I don’t think so. There is no precedent for that sort of activity in this congregation.”
In the practice of law, precedent is of great import. But in the church?
The exchange helped me to clarify something in my own thinking: we Episcopalians are a people steeped in tradition, and in that, we are quite conservative. We have a body of canon law to consider, and a whole set of diocesan policies, rubrics and their supporting historic practices as well. There is a difference, however, between TRADITION and PRECEDENT. Tradition says that we are accustomed to doing certain things in certain ways. Other things, though, not covered in canon, policy, or rubric, are subject to modification. We don’t have to defend them to a judge! Precedent, on the other hand, is even more restrictive. The idea is that, if there is no precedent for it, we can’t do it—not without great turmoil, hierarchical approvals, and careful defenses, anyway.
If we are to be fresh, creative, and energized; if we are to grow, adapt to changing realities, and embrace diverse membership, we must find ways to incorporate imaginative change into our corporate life. If we are to remain stable, enduring, rooted, and secure, we must also honor and respect our corporate traditions at the same time. Both are important to a congregation’s life. Maintaining the delicate balance between the two is something of an art form, but there is science to it, too. The science comes from understanding the difference between the particular practices of the church and the theological, scriptural, and liturgical principles that underlie them. The practices themselves may be subject to creative reinterpretation and adaptation. The principles beneath them are not subject to our individual whims. There is always room for variety and for fresh elements to keep up our interest and help us attend to the event. That doesn’t excuse either sloppiness or capriciousness. We need creativity, and we need careful consideration, too, each thoughtfully applied. We honor tradition: precedent—not so much!
JULY 5, 2011
In conversation with a senior warden, I suggested a couple of activities as possibilities to get the congregation “unstuck” and refreshed—to increase involvement, spirit de corps, and enthusiasm for the parish life.
“We could do that first thing, I guess,” was his response. “We have done that in the past, so there is some precedent for it, though we haven’t done it recently. The other, though, I don’t think so. There is no precedent for that sort of activity in this congregation.”
In the practice of law, precedent is of great import. But in the church?
The exchange helped me to clarify something in my own thinking: we Episcopalians are a people steeped in tradition, and in that, we are quite conservative. We have a body of canon law to consider, and a whole set of diocesan policies, rubrics and their supporting historic practices as well. There is a difference, however, between TRADITION and PRECEDENT. Tradition says that we are accustomed to doing certain things in certain ways. Other things, though, not covered in canon, policy, or rubric, are subject to modification. We don’t have to defend them to a judge! Precedent, on the other hand, is even more restrictive. The idea is that, if there is no precedent for it, we can’t do it—not without great turmoil, hierarchical approvals, and careful defenses, anyway.
If we are to be fresh, creative, and energized; if we are to grow, adapt to changing realities, and embrace diverse membership, we must find ways to incorporate imaginative change into our corporate life. If we are to remain stable, enduring, rooted, and secure, we must also honor and respect our corporate traditions at the same time. Both are important to a congregation’s life. Maintaining the delicate balance between the two is something of an art form, but there is science to it, too. The science comes from understanding the difference between the particular practices of the church and the theological, scriptural, and liturgical principles that underlie them. The practices themselves may be subject to creative reinterpretation and adaptation. The principles beneath them are not subject to our individual whims. There is always room for variety and for fresh elements to keep up our interest and help us attend to the event. That doesn’t excuse either sloppiness or capriciousness. We need creativity, and we need careful consideration, too, each thoughtfully applied. We honor tradition: precedent—not so much!
A Volley from the Canon, Number 103 Chronic Anxiety part 2
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 103
LEADING IN THE CHURCH DURING TIMES OF CHRONIC ANXIETY
PART 2: THE PARADOX OF SERIOUSNESS
Summarized from a presentation made by The Rev. Doug Hester,
The Episcopal Network for Stewardship Conference, Camp Allen, Texas, June 2, 2011
Rowan Atkinson “Healthy people say, ‘Yes,’ ‘No,’ and ‘Whoopee.’ Unhealthy people say,’ Yes, but…’, ‘no, but…’, and ‘No whoopee.’”
Victor Borge, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”
The most chronically anxious people are very serious, about everything. Seriousness is a way of thinking imbedded in a chronically anxious society. There are no small matters, at least not the ones causing concern. Consequently, the seriousness can become more of a problem than the issue itself. Lightening up the environment can, of itself, greatly defuse the conflict.
Good leaders have five predictable characteristics: They are happy, funny, loving, cooperative, and creative. (It is pretty easy and unpleasant to imagine the destructiveness of the opposite set of characteristics!) Being happy and funny is not necessarily about telling jokes. Some people use supposed jokes to attack or ridicule others, and then hide behind the ruse that their nastiness was meant in jest. Humor is an attitude rather than a content, and it pervades all areas of activity. It includes playfulness, an attribute that is absent from the chronically anxious.
Humor adds resiliency to a group. It increases their repertoire of possible responses. Perhaps the one who benefits most is the group leader, for whom humor, even her own, reduces her own anxiety levels. After all, being a “non-anxious presence” is a pipe dream for nearly all of us, but Hester is not one to be concerned about that. He is quite satisfied with the leader being proportionally “less anxious” than others in the room. In contrast, the leader then comes across as cool and collected.
A note about “triangling” behaviors: Hester does not recommend removing oneself completely from triangles. That results only in the acting-out persons going to triangle someone else more conducive to their efforts. He suggests trying to remain “connected at the corners” with all parties to the group triangles, while maintaining personal integrity. Thus communications are kept intact, and the possibility of improving relations remains.
Humor’s value for the larger system
• Improves morale
• Puts in resiliency/flexibility
• Loosens the stuckness of the situation
• Puts in the right amount of emotional space
• Broadens the repertoire of choices
• Lowers volatility—disperses the fumes of anxiety
• De-triangles
• Stimulates the immune system
• Promotes personal integration
• Helps in dealing with viruses
• Fosters creativity
• Improves communication
Got a Worship Committee meeting coming up that could turn hostile? Try opening with a showing of “Mr. Bean Goes to Church.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bm9mhX1q4o
If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit: the human predicament, and “stupid human tricks”, can be pretty darn funny. We do well to cultivate our sense of humor—and we’d best hope God has a good one, too!
A NOTE: Lest there be misunderstanding, when I refer to leadership in this summary, I mean to include both clergy and lay leadership in a congregation.
LEADING IN THE CHURCH DURING TIMES OF CHRONIC ANXIETY
PART 2: THE PARADOX OF SERIOUSNESS
Summarized from a presentation made by The Rev. Doug Hester,
The Episcopal Network for Stewardship Conference, Camp Allen, Texas, June 2, 2011
Rowan Atkinson “Healthy people say, ‘Yes,’ ‘No,’ and ‘Whoopee.’ Unhealthy people say,’ Yes, but…’, ‘no, but…’, and ‘No whoopee.’”
Victor Borge, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”
The most chronically anxious people are very serious, about everything. Seriousness is a way of thinking imbedded in a chronically anxious society. There are no small matters, at least not the ones causing concern. Consequently, the seriousness can become more of a problem than the issue itself. Lightening up the environment can, of itself, greatly defuse the conflict.
Good leaders have five predictable characteristics: They are happy, funny, loving, cooperative, and creative. (It is pretty easy and unpleasant to imagine the destructiveness of the opposite set of characteristics!) Being happy and funny is not necessarily about telling jokes. Some people use supposed jokes to attack or ridicule others, and then hide behind the ruse that their nastiness was meant in jest. Humor is an attitude rather than a content, and it pervades all areas of activity. It includes playfulness, an attribute that is absent from the chronically anxious.
Humor adds resiliency to a group. It increases their repertoire of possible responses. Perhaps the one who benefits most is the group leader, for whom humor, even her own, reduces her own anxiety levels. After all, being a “non-anxious presence” is a pipe dream for nearly all of us, but Hester is not one to be concerned about that. He is quite satisfied with the leader being proportionally “less anxious” than others in the room. In contrast, the leader then comes across as cool and collected.
A note about “triangling” behaviors: Hester does not recommend removing oneself completely from triangles. That results only in the acting-out persons going to triangle someone else more conducive to their efforts. He suggests trying to remain “connected at the corners” with all parties to the group triangles, while maintaining personal integrity. Thus communications are kept intact, and the possibility of improving relations remains.
Humor’s value for the larger system
• Improves morale
• Puts in resiliency/flexibility
• Loosens the stuckness of the situation
• Puts in the right amount of emotional space
• Broadens the repertoire of choices
• Lowers volatility—disperses the fumes of anxiety
• De-triangles
• Stimulates the immune system
• Promotes personal integration
• Helps in dealing with viruses
• Fosters creativity
• Improves communication
Got a Worship Committee meeting coming up that could turn hostile? Try opening with a showing of “Mr. Bean Goes to Church.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bm9mhX1q4o
If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit: the human predicament, and “stupid human tricks”, can be pretty darn funny. We do well to cultivate our sense of humor—and we’d best hope God has a good one, too!
A NOTE: Lest there be misunderstanding, when I refer to leadership in this summary, I mean to include both clergy and lay leadership in a congregation.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 102 Chronic Anxiety
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 102
LEADING IN THE CHURCH DURING TIMES OF CHRONIC ANXIETY
Summarized from a presentation made by The Rev. Doug Hester,
The Episcopal Network for Stewardship Conference, Camp Allen, Texas, June 2, 2011
Rapid change causes anxiety, at various levels, according to the type and severity of the change. Very rapid changes, in many areas of life, affecting people in ways they consider to be important, and over prolonged periods, cause a condition of Chronic Anxiety, which affects different people in different ways. Anxiety pervades the entire family system like a combustible gas, but it manifests itself most acutely in the most vulnerable, the most dependent, and the most responsible persons in the group. Only a small spark is required to set off an explosion of emotional reaction. In the church, we live in the “splash zone” of life (like the first rows at Sea World). We are going to get wet! Anxiety in the home spills over inevitably (and unconsciously) into church life.
Over twenty years ago, Edwin Friedman, founder of Family Systems Theory, said (still true), “We live in a seat-belt society that is more focused on safety than adventure. A pain-relief society.” Evidence: drug culture, prescription drug abuse, constant TV ads on pain/symptom relief, gated communities, home security systems, phobia of strangers, general fear and distrust—all are symptoms of the chronic anxiety of our society.
Other evidences:
• Quickness to blame, with loss of integrity/ accountability. Someone else is always at fault. Much of this is scape-goating, fixing blame on a convenient target. In the church, this target is often a clergy leader.
• Active triangles. Instability of two-person relationships due to lack of self-individuation (i. e., one does not talk to the person with whom one has an issue, but talks to others about them).
• Automatic reactivity. One has to respond, to do something. (Often, the best response is to do nothing.)
• Loss of playfulness. Everything is serious. As a result, leaders become less resilient. Under constant pressure, they break down and give up. The best-qualified leaders decline to serve.
• Over-focus on togetherness, with a herd mentality. Leaders become indecisive, just want to keep the peace. There is the illusion that we all have to stay together. Fear of losing anyone, even the destructive ones, leads to “peace-mongering.”
• Adaptation to immaturity. We let the least mature people set the agenda, fearful of losing them (or their financial support).
• Desire for quick and easy answers. Fundamentalism in religion, reductionism in science.
• A focus on playing it safe rather than adventure or creativity.
One way we respond unhelpfully is to focus on placating the acting-out individual, the one most dramatizing the anxiety in the system. Therefore, we put our greatest resources in the ones who are least likely to benefit. We have an “unreasonable faith in reasonableness.” We try to use logic and information to convince the disruptive person to calm down. But you can’t reason (left brain) with emotion (right brain), and even less with “reptilian brain,” the lower, instinct function!
Chronic anxiety causes regression to “reptilian brain” function. It manifests itself in “toxic behaviors,” such as: 1) lack of self-regulation, 2) being “perpetually invasive” in the group, and 3) invulnerability to insight. Leaders must impose appropriate behavior limitations, since the acting out person is unable to do so.
Some Family System principles that may be of help in dealing with Chronic Anxiety in Congregations:
1) The system will always return to its original shape unless the emotional relationships change among the various relations and triangles involved. (You can remove a malignant tumor, but you don’t thereby remove the malignant process.) Focus on one-to-one relationship building helps reduce the triangling, among those who are willing to try.
2) Togetherness in humans happens naturally. If it is not happening, there is a problem! But trying to force it by making the togetherness itself the goal is counter-productive. This false togetherness is coercive and fake, and it doesn’t work, anyway. We have to give people the freedom to leave us if we want more, especially the healthier ones, to choose to stay with us.
3) A system, even the church, cannot tolerate continuous destructive behaviors. We have to set clear limits, and we have to enforce those limits. Otherwise, all abandon the ship, healthiest first!
4) Anxiety is “serious.” Anxious people are serious. One way to reduce anxiety in a system is to be, as a leader, less serious.
5) Sometimes, the best reaction to a situation is to do nothing!
6) Creativity is more important than knowledge. (Listen up, you who want to cut arts programs from schools!)
7) Lead by the nature of your presence—by who you “be” rather than by what you know.
8) People can hear you only when they are moving toward you, emotionally. If pursued, they distance themselves.
Hester pointed out that, in a chronically anxious congregation, a predictable response is that the vestry becomes very concerned about how the clergy spend their time, and they want to receive reports documenting the clergy schedule. They also have concerns about retaining members and reclaiming lost ones: the task of visiting the “lost sheep,”—often those run off by the dysfunction of the system-- is generally assigned to clergy as well, along with blame for the loss of any sheep. Though every group naturally sheds some members, if you first fix the system, the hemorrhage stops.
His suggestions for leader responses include: 1) Avoid “peace-mongering.” Differences of opinion are natural and healthy. Don’t try to agree with everybody, but value everybody’s input. 2) Try to “imagine the unimaginable.” Unleash creativity. 3) Develop a mission statement for your professional life, and one for your personal life—each four words or less! Use these to help remain centered. 4) LIGHTEN THINGS UP! Anxious people are very serious. A lighter tone reduces anxiety (first, in the leader, making better leadership more possible!)
Next: Part II, The Paradox of Seriousness
LEADING IN THE CHURCH DURING TIMES OF CHRONIC ANXIETY
Summarized from a presentation made by The Rev. Doug Hester,
The Episcopal Network for Stewardship Conference, Camp Allen, Texas, June 2, 2011
Rapid change causes anxiety, at various levels, according to the type and severity of the change. Very rapid changes, in many areas of life, affecting people in ways they consider to be important, and over prolonged periods, cause a condition of Chronic Anxiety, which affects different people in different ways. Anxiety pervades the entire family system like a combustible gas, but it manifests itself most acutely in the most vulnerable, the most dependent, and the most responsible persons in the group. Only a small spark is required to set off an explosion of emotional reaction. In the church, we live in the “splash zone” of life (like the first rows at Sea World). We are going to get wet! Anxiety in the home spills over inevitably (and unconsciously) into church life.
Over twenty years ago, Edwin Friedman, founder of Family Systems Theory, said (still true), “We live in a seat-belt society that is more focused on safety than adventure. A pain-relief society.” Evidence: drug culture, prescription drug abuse, constant TV ads on pain/symptom relief, gated communities, home security systems, phobia of strangers, general fear and distrust—all are symptoms of the chronic anxiety of our society.
Other evidences:
• Quickness to blame, with loss of integrity/ accountability. Someone else is always at fault. Much of this is scape-goating, fixing blame on a convenient target. In the church, this target is often a clergy leader.
• Active triangles. Instability of two-person relationships due to lack of self-individuation (i. e., one does not talk to the person with whom one has an issue, but talks to others about them).
• Automatic reactivity. One has to respond, to do something. (Often, the best response is to do nothing.)
• Loss of playfulness. Everything is serious. As a result, leaders become less resilient. Under constant pressure, they break down and give up. The best-qualified leaders decline to serve.
• Over-focus on togetherness, with a herd mentality. Leaders become indecisive, just want to keep the peace. There is the illusion that we all have to stay together. Fear of losing anyone, even the destructive ones, leads to “peace-mongering.”
• Adaptation to immaturity. We let the least mature people set the agenda, fearful of losing them (or their financial support).
• Desire for quick and easy answers. Fundamentalism in religion, reductionism in science.
• A focus on playing it safe rather than adventure or creativity.
One way we respond unhelpfully is to focus on placating the acting-out individual, the one most dramatizing the anxiety in the system. Therefore, we put our greatest resources in the ones who are least likely to benefit. We have an “unreasonable faith in reasonableness.” We try to use logic and information to convince the disruptive person to calm down. But you can’t reason (left brain) with emotion (right brain), and even less with “reptilian brain,” the lower, instinct function!
Chronic anxiety causes regression to “reptilian brain” function. It manifests itself in “toxic behaviors,” such as: 1) lack of self-regulation, 2) being “perpetually invasive” in the group, and 3) invulnerability to insight. Leaders must impose appropriate behavior limitations, since the acting out person is unable to do so.
Some Family System principles that may be of help in dealing with Chronic Anxiety in Congregations:
1) The system will always return to its original shape unless the emotional relationships change among the various relations and triangles involved. (You can remove a malignant tumor, but you don’t thereby remove the malignant process.) Focus on one-to-one relationship building helps reduce the triangling, among those who are willing to try.
2) Togetherness in humans happens naturally. If it is not happening, there is a problem! But trying to force it by making the togetherness itself the goal is counter-productive. This false togetherness is coercive and fake, and it doesn’t work, anyway. We have to give people the freedom to leave us if we want more, especially the healthier ones, to choose to stay with us.
3) A system, even the church, cannot tolerate continuous destructive behaviors. We have to set clear limits, and we have to enforce those limits. Otherwise, all abandon the ship, healthiest first!
4) Anxiety is “serious.” Anxious people are serious. One way to reduce anxiety in a system is to be, as a leader, less serious.
5) Sometimes, the best reaction to a situation is to do nothing!
6) Creativity is more important than knowledge. (Listen up, you who want to cut arts programs from schools!)
7) Lead by the nature of your presence—by who you “be” rather than by what you know.
8) People can hear you only when they are moving toward you, emotionally. If pursued, they distance themselves.
Hester pointed out that, in a chronically anxious congregation, a predictable response is that the vestry becomes very concerned about how the clergy spend their time, and they want to receive reports documenting the clergy schedule. They also have concerns about retaining members and reclaiming lost ones: the task of visiting the “lost sheep,”—often those run off by the dysfunction of the system-- is generally assigned to clergy as well, along with blame for the loss of any sheep. Though every group naturally sheds some members, if you first fix the system, the hemorrhage stops.
His suggestions for leader responses include: 1) Avoid “peace-mongering.” Differences of opinion are natural and healthy. Don’t try to agree with everybody, but value everybody’s input. 2) Try to “imagine the unimaginable.” Unleash creativity. 3) Develop a mission statement for your professional life, and one for your personal life—each four words or less! Use these to help remain centered. 4) LIGHTEN THINGS UP! Anxious people are very serious. A lighter tone reduces anxiety (first, in the leader, making better leadership more possible!)
Next: Part II, The Paradox of Seriousness
Sunday, June 5, 2011
A Volley from the Canon, Number 100 Liturgy
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 101
“Liturgy”
Shamelessly adapted from a sermon by the Rt. Rev. Catherine Waynick
Camp Allen, Texas, June 3, 2011
When you go to seminary, you learn important stuff, like the origin of words in Latin and Greek. For example, you learn that the word liturgy comes from Greek, liturgia, and that, while it means “a work of the people,” it originally referred to a public work produced at private expense. If a wealthy man traveled a certain route often, he might have a bridge built across a stream. That bridge would be for everyone to use, but he paid for it. Or one might have a play produced to honor Dionysus, but the public would be invited. That sort of thing.
So public worship is the work of the people, not the performance of the clergy. All of us are the actors: Heaven is the audience. That is important for us to know if we are to understand why we do this common act in the ways that we do.
However, there is a deeper, more theological origin for liturgy that renders it even more meaningful. Jesus, an individual of means, if you will, wanted to build a bridge, not for his own use, but for the benefit of the public. The entire public. Anyone who cares to cross. That bridge leads from earth to heaven, with all that entails in this life and the next. That bridge is himself, in the miracle and the sacrament of Incarnation. It is a work for the public, paid for by an individual.
Whenever we participate in our liturgy, we might find it even richer and more meaningful for us if we first remember HIS liturgy.
“Liturgy”
Shamelessly adapted from a sermon by the Rt. Rev. Catherine Waynick
Camp Allen, Texas, June 3, 2011
When you go to seminary, you learn important stuff, like the origin of words in Latin and Greek. For example, you learn that the word liturgy comes from Greek, liturgia, and that, while it means “a work of the people,” it originally referred to a public work produced at private expense. If a wealthy man traveled a certain route often, he might have a bridge built across a stream. That bridge would be for everyone to use, but he paid for it. Or one might have a play produced to honor Dionysus, but the public would be invited. That sort of thing.
So public worship is the work of the people, not the performance of the clergy. All of us are the actors: Heaven is the audience. That is important for us to know if we are to understand why we do this common act in the ways that we do.
However, there is a deeper, more theological origin for liturgy that renders it even more meaningful. Jesus, an individual of means, if you will, wanted to build a bridge, not for his own use, but for the benefit of the public. The entire public. Anyone who cares to cross. That bridge leads from earth to heaven, with all that entails in this life and the next. That bridge is himself, in the miracle and the sacrament of Incarnation. It is a work for the public, paid for by an individual.
Whenever we participate in our liturgy, we might find it even richer and more meaningful for us if we first remember HIS liturgy.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 100 The Pearl
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 100
“A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE”
Shamelessly adapted from a sermon by the Rt. Rev. Catherine Waynick
Camp Allen, Texas, June 3, 2011
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had, and bought it.”
Matthew 13:44-46
We are familiar with this tiny parable, and we have heard the dominant explication of it many times. The Kingdom of Heaven, or our salvation, is the Pearl of Great Value. We are like the merchant, and we must be willing to give up all that we have in order to possess that treasure. There is nothing wrong with that. The treasure of our salvation is free, by God’s grace, yet it is costly beyond measure. We know that.
However, there is another way of looking at the parable (isn’t there always?). In this understanding, Jesus is describing the Kingdom economy itself, not our means of entering it. His purpose is expository, not didactic. HE is the merchant seeking fine pearls. And YOU are the Pearl of Great Value. Yes, you. He gave up all—for you.
We are Incarnation people, we Episcopalians. It is our favorite doctrine. Among Christians, we are friendliest to the world as God has created, sustained, and redeemed it. We are awed and appreciative of the fact that, in the Incarnation, Christ took our fleshly nature upon him and became one of us. He put aside Heaven, and divinity, and immortality. He suffered, on our behalf, discomforts, pain, and even death.
But “even,” (says Bishop Cate) “had Jesus died in his bed,” his sacrifice would have been astounding. He gave up Heaven for Earth. (“God so loved the world….”) For each one of us.
You think you have a face only a mother could love? Think again. You’re a pearl.
“A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE”
Shamelessly adapted from a sermon by the Rt. Rev. Catherine Waynick
Camp Allen, Texas, June 3, 2011
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had, and bought it.”
Matthew 13:44-46
We are familiar with this tiny parable, and we have heard the dominant explication of it many times. The Kingdom of Heaven, or our salvation, is the Pearl of Great Value. We are like the merchant, and we must be willing to give up all that we have in order to possess that treasure. There is nothing wrong with that. The treasure of our salvation is free, by God’s grace, yet it is costly beyond measure. We know that.
However, there is another way of looking at the parable (isn’t there always?). In this understanding, Jesus is describing the Kingdom economy itself, not our means of entering it. His purpose is expository, not didactic. HE is the merchant seeking fine pearls. And YOU are the Pearl of Great Value. Yes, you. He gave up all—for you.
We are Incarnation people, we Episcopalians. It is our favorite doctrine. Among Christians, we are friendliest to the world as God has created, sustained, and redeemed it. We are awed and appreciative of the fact that, in the Incarnation, Christ took our fleshly nature upon him and became one of us. He put aside Heaven, and divinity, and immortality. He suffered, on our behalf, discomforts, pain, and even death.
But “even,” (says Bishop Cate) “had Jesus died in his bed,” his sacrifice would have been astounding. He gave up Heaven for Earth. (“God so loved the world….”) For each one of us.
You think you have a face only a mother could love? Think again. You’re a pearl.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 99 Say It
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 99
“IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING”
Shamelessly adapted from a sermon by the Rt. Rev. Catherine Waynick
Camp Allen, Texas, June 3, 2011
The man near death was in his 60’s. His doctor called the chaplain because his cancer patient “should have” died days earlier, and was in great pain, but seemed to have something unresolved. Perhaps the chaplain could help him. Upon her visit, he came out with it immediately. He didn’t know if his father ever loved him or not. The father had never said so, and it bothered the man. It happened that the patient’s father, in his eighties, was still alive, residing in a care facility not too far away. The chaplain called and explained the situation. “Could you possibly come?” she asked.
He got someone to drive him, and came to his son’s bedside. “I thought you always knew that everything I ever did was for you—all the work, and travel. I wanted a better life for you. I love you, and I’ve always loved you, and I always will love you.” They visited for a while, and the father, tired, returned to his own facility.
In less than twenty minutes, the patient died peacefully.
Whenever we say, “It goes without saying,” we then go ahead and say it. We have to, because nothing actually goes without saying. We need to say what we mean, what we think, what we feel—otherwise, how is anyone to know? We have to say we love one another. We have to say we are sorry. We have to ask for forgiveness. We have to say we forgive.
We are believers in Jesus. Everybody knows that, right? We go to church. We give to the church. We try to live according to God’s way. Our friends understand that, certainly our family does. It goes without saying.
Yes, too often, it does. But in our Baptismal Covenant, vows we renew on a regular basis, we promise to share “by word and example” the Good News of God in Christ. Note that it does not say, “by word OR deed.” We are inclined to make an option out of an inclusive.
We are unlikely to take to shouting praises to Jesus from rooftops. That is not our style, and likely not all that effective, anyway. But we are clever people.
We can figure out when the time is right, the opportunity presented, to tell the people who need to know where we stand on important matters. We worm our golf scores into conversations, surely we can manage this.
It goes WITH saying.
“IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING”
Shamelessly adapted from a sermon by the Rt. Rev. Catherine Waynick
Camp Allen, Texas, June 3, 2011
The man near death was in his 60’s. His doctor called the chaplain because his cancer patient “should have” died days earlier, and was in great pain, but seemed to have something unresolved. Perhaps the chaplain could help him. Upon her visit, he came out with it immediately. He didn’t know if his father ever loved him or not. The father had never said so, and it bothered the man. It happened that the patient’s father, in his eighties, was still alive, residing in a care facility not too far away. The chaplain called and explained the situation. “Could you possibly come?” she asked.
He got someone to drive him, and came to his son’s bedside. “I thought you always knew that everything I ever did was for you—all the work, and travel. I wanted a better life for you. I love you, and I’ve always loved you, and I always will love you.” They visited for a while, and the father, tired, returned to his own facility.
In less than twenty minutes, the patient died peacefully.
Whenever we say, “It goes without saying,” we then go ahead and say it. We have to, because nothing actually goes without saying. We need to say what we mean, what we think, what we feel—otherwise, how is anyone to know? We have to say we love one another. We have to say we are sorry. We have to ask for forgiveness. We have to say we forgive.
We are believers in Jesus. Everybody knows that, right? We go to church. We give to the church. We try to live according to God’s way. Our friends understand that, certainly our family does. It goes without saying.
Yes, too often, it does. But in our Baptismal Covenant, vows we renew on a regular basis, we promise to share “by word and example” the Good News of God in Christ. Note that it does not say, “by word OR deed.” We are inclined to make an option out of an inclusive.
We are unlikely to take to shouting praises to Jesus from rooftops. That is not our style, and likely not all that effective, anyway. But we are clever people.
We can figure out when the time is right, the opportunity presented, to tell the people who need to know where we stand on important matters. We worm our golf scores into conversations, surely we can manage this.
It goes WITH saying.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 98 Last/First
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 98
“The First Shall Be Last”
When Mike Abrashoff (It’s Your Ship)took command of his U. S. Navy warship, he noticed at his first meal aboard ship that all his officers broke in at the head of the line to be served. He knew that was the Navy tradition, but he deliberately held back until all his crew had been served. One of the officers came back to give him a nudge, letting him know that, as Commander, he was entitled to go first. Mike declined, and told the officer that, as Commander, he was responsible for the well-begin of all the crew, and if the galley ran out of anything, and if anyone had to go without, it would be he, the Commander. He made no point of this, only the example of his own behavior.
At the next meal, all of his officers joined him at the end of the cafeteria line. Crew morale began to grow from that point.
I don’t know what, if anything, this has to do with life in the Episcopal Church. I’m just sayin’.
“The First Shall Be Last”
When Mike Abrashoff (It’s Your Ship)took command of his U. S. Navy warship, he noticed at his first meal aboard ship that all his officers broke in at the head of the line to be served. He knew that was the Navy tradition, but he deliberately held back until all his crew had been served. One of the officers came back to give him a nudge, letting him know that, as Commander, he was entitled to go first. Mike declined, and told the officer that, as Commander, he was responsible for the well-begin of all the crew, and if the galley ran out of anything, and if anyone had to go without, it would be he, the Commander. He made no point of this, only the example of his own behavior.
At the next meal, all of his officers joined him at the end of the cafeteria line. Crew morale began to grow from that point.
I don’t know what, if anything, this has to do with life in the Episcopal Church. I’m just sayin’.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 97 Best Church
A Volley from the Canon, Number 97
“Best #*&^ Church in the Diocese”
Archdeacon Perrizo and I recently attended our professional organization meeting, the Conference of Diocesan Executives (CODE), for staff who report directly to a diocesan bishop. We count on this event for great networking opportunities, meaningful worship, and inspiring sessions on various aspects of our work. This year was no exception.
We had two keynote speakers, both of whom you’ll see me quoting in the weeks to come: first, the Presiding Bishop preached and later spoke after dinner on “Leadership for a Changing World,” the theme of the conference. We had also been asked to read a book, It’s Your Ship, by retired Navy Commander Mike Abrashoff. He spoke the following morning on his experiences with leadership, assuming command of a Navy vessel surrounding the Gulf Wars period.
When Abrashoff took command of his ship, he was distressed to see his crew cheer the departure of his predecessor, an unprecedented lapse in morale and respect. The ship was near the bottom of just about every measure the Navy applied to it (and his getting assigned to it was not a sign of his being the military’s brightest and best hope!), but it particularly tanked in crew morale and re-enlistment. Mike was certain of little, but one sure thing was, he did not want to be dissed when his two years’ tenure was up as the previous commander had been. He also learned very quickly that his job was not to be liked: it was to lead his mixed gender crew well, keep them safe, and help them to serve as effectively as possible. He needed to be respected, maybe even admired, but he certainly did not need to be feared!
He truly wanted to know what was going on with the crew, and so he defied Navy tradition by “interviewing” all of his crew individually, to learn about them, their hopes, their needs, their concerns. He invited each one to his state-room, a place few had ever seen. He prowled the ship, not looking for errors to reprimand people for, but for good work to praise. Gradually, the crew stopped looking at their shoes when he passed, and began to look him in the eye. They began to talk to him, too, and had a number of very effective suggestions on how to operate the ship and its equipment more efficiently. He sent his galley staff to chef school in San Francisco. He began to focus on getting the training his crew needed to advance and meet their personal goals. In short order, they began to excel in all the Navy’s evaluations.
One thing Abrashoff taught his crew was to greet visitors by saying, “Welcome aboard the best damn ship in the Navy.” Guests got a kick out of it, and there were more and more of them as dining improved. At first, it was a ludicrous statement, but gradually, it came to have real meaning to the crew. They came to believe it, and they came to live into it.
First, I commend Abrashoff’s book to you for an interesting and quick read. There is far more kinship between the U. S. Navy and the Episcopal Church than we might want to think! Second, I am struck by this demonstration of the power of positive messages and the widespread effects of improved morale in an organization. As a body, we Episcopalians have been much beset-upon (in large measure, by ourselves) in recent years; we could do with a bit of encouragement. Third, I note the importance of those in positions of leadership getting to know their “crew.” The leader is one person, and as such can do only so much. The crew (Abrashoff had 300+) can accomplish astronomically more than that—if they are freed and equipped to do so!
I’m not so sure the church can benefit from greeting visitors with “Welcome to the best damn church in the diocese!” That is not something we ought to say out loud at the church door. But on the inside, I long for the day when we might mean it.
We already have the gourmet dining.
“Best #*&^ Church in the Diocese”
Archdeacon Perrizo and I recently attended our professional organization meeting, the Conference of Diocesan Executives (CODE), for staff who report directly to a diocesan bishop. We count on this event for great networking opportunities, meaningful worship, and inspiring sessions on various aspects of our work. This year was no exception.
We had two keynote speakers, both of whom you’ll see me quoting in the weeks to come: first, the Presiding Bishop preached and later spoke after dinner on “Leadership for a Changing World,” the theme of the conference. We had also been asked to read a book, It’s Your Ship, by retired Navy Commander Mike Abrashoff. He spoke the following morning on his experiences with leadership, assuming command of a Navy vessel surrounding the Gulf Wars period.
When Abrashoff took command of his ship, he was distressed to see his crew cheer the departure of his predecessor, an unprecedented lapse in morale and respect. The ship was near the bottom of just about every measure the Navy applied to it (and his getting assigned to it was not a sign of his being the military’s brightest and best hope!), but it particularly tanked in crew morale and re-enlistment. Mike was certain of little, but one sure thing was, he did not want to be dissed when his two years’ tenure was up as the previous commander had been. He also learned very quickly that his job was not to be liked: it was to lead his mixed gender crew well, keep them safe, and help them to serve as effectively as possible. He needed to be respected, maybe even admired, but he certainly did not need to be feared!
He truly wanted to know what was going on with the crew, and so he defied Navy tradition by “interviewing” all of his crew individually, to learn about them, their hopes, their needs, their concerns. He invited each one to his state-room, a place few had ever seen. He prowled the ship, not looking for errors to reprimand people for, but for good work to praise. Gradually, the crew stopped looking at their shoes when he passed, and began to look him in the eye. They began to talk to him, too, and had a number of very effective suggestions on how to operate the ship and its equipment more efficiently. He sent his galley staff to chef school in San Francisco. He began to focus on getting the training his crew needed to advance and meet their personal goals. In short order, they began to excel in all the Navy’s evaluations.
One thing Abrashoff taught his crew was to greet visitors by saying, “Welcome aboard the best damn ship in the Navy.” Guests got a kick out of it, and there were more and more of them as dining improved. At first, it was a ludicrous statement, but gradually, it came to have real meaning to the crew. They came to believe it, and they came to live into it.
First, I commend Abrashoff’s book to you for an interesting and quick read. There is far more kinship between the U. S. Navy and the Episcopal Church than we might want to think! Second, I am struck by this demonstration of the power of positive messages and the widespread effects of improved morale in an organization. As a body, we Episcopalians have been much beset-upon (in large measure, by ourselves) in recent years; we could do with a bit of encouragement. Third, I note the importance of those in positions of leadership getting to know their “crew.” The leader is one person, and as such can do only so much. The crew (Abrashoff had 300+) can accomplish astronomically more than that—if they are freed and equipped to do so!
I’m not so sure the church can benefit from greeting visitors with “Welcome to the best damn church in the diocese!” That is not something we ought to say out loud at the church door. But on the inside, I long for the day when we might mean it.
We already have the gourmet dining.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 95 Growth and Decline 5
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 95
A SUMMARY OF CONCLUSIONS ABOUT THE DATA ON GROWING AND DECLINING CONGREGATIONS
Source: Kirk Hadaway, FACT 2010 Survey
THINGS THAT HELP FOSTER GROWTH (not in order of strength)
1. The presence of younger members in the congregation.
2. Diversity in the racial make-up of the congregation.
3. An Hispanic or Asian/Pacific membership
4. Newness of the church, or newness of the neighborhood
5. A clear sense of mission.
6. Spiritual vitality.
7. Joyful worship
8. A clear theological position, especially among the most “liberal” congregations.
9. Willingness to change to meet new challenges.
10. Ability to manage and reduce conflict.
11. Involvement of children in worship.
12. The congregation desiring growth.
13. Technical savvy, and using modern technologies
14. Both lay members and clergy actively recruit members.
15. Special programs and events.
16. Follow-up to visitors.
17. Attention to adult formation
18. Events for young adults.
19. Emphasis on personal prayer and parents talking to children about faith
20. Adequate clergy attention (multiple clergy, full-time clergy).
21. Clergy active in community life.
22. Members rotate leadership roles.
23. Clergy serving 3 to 10 years in the congregation (returns diminish after that).
24. Lower percentage of budget spent on buildings.
25. Not kneeling.
A SUMMARY OF CONCLUSIONS ABOUT THE DATA ON GROWING AND DECLINING CONGREGATIONS
Source: Kirk Hadaway, FACT 2010 Survey
THINGS THAT HELP FOSTER GROWTH (not in order of strength)
1. The presence of younger members in the congregation.
2. Diversity in the racial make-up of the congregation.
3. An Hispanic or Asian/Pacific membership
4. Newness of the church, or newness of the neighborhood
5. A clear sense of mission.
6. Spiritual vitality.
7. Joyful worship
8. A clear theological position, especially among the most “liberal” congregations.
9. Willingness to change to meet new challenges.
10. Ability to manage and reduce conflict.
11. Involvement of children in worship.
12. The congregation desiring growth.
13. Technical savvy, and using modern technologies
14. Both lay members and clergy actively recruit members.
15. Special programs and events.
16. Follow-up to visitors.
17. Attention to adult formation
18. Events for young adults.
19. Emphasis on personal prayer and parents talking to children about faith
20. Adequate clergy attention (multiple clergy, full-time clergy).
21. Clergy active in community life.
22. Members rotate leadership roles.
23. Clergy serving 3 to 10 years in the congregation (returns diminish after that).
24. Lower percentage of budget spent on buildings.
25. Not kneeling.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 94 Growth and Decline 4
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 94
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART IV
FACTORS THAT CAUSE CONGREGATIONS TO DECLINE
1. Conflict in the congregation.
Among those congregations reporting a decline in attendance,
23% report “little or no” conflict, sloping up to
77% reporting “greatest conflict.”
2. The source of conflict is most likely to be the priest’s leadership style (58% declining) or budget woes (58%), and more distantly be ordination of gay clergy (39%) among those reporting the most serious conflict.
3. When congregations always kneel for prayer, 30% are growing. Among those who never or seldom kneel for prayer, 45% are growing. (Could these also be affected by other factors, such as newness or younger age?)
4. Leaders holding onto key positions contributes to membership decline.
Where there is a lot of leadership post rotation, 22% are declining.
Where there is a small amount of rotation, 36% are declining.
Where the same people tend to serve in the same roles, 50% are declining.
5. High proportion of spending on building maintenance relates to declining membership.
If 10% or less of budget goes to B&G, 23% are declining.
If 50% or more of budget goes to B&G, 50% are declining, with stair-step intervals in
between.
6. If clergy leave too soon, or stay too long, the congregation declines.
When the rector or vicar was called in the past three years, under 20% are growing.
When the rector or vicar was called four to ten years ago, the scale ranges from 38% growing (at ten years) to 51% growing (four years). After ten years, the percentage growing drops to 27
7. Reducing clergy attention accompanies decline.
When congregations have an interim, or no priest, 51% are declining.
When there is a part-time or retired priest, 47% are declining.
Where there is one priest, 32% are declining.
Where there are multiple priests on staff, 24% are declining.
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART IV
FACTORS THAT CAUSE CONGREGATIONS TO DECLINE
1. Conflict in the congregation.
Among those congregations reporting a decline in attendance,
23% report “little or no” conflict, sloping up to
77% reporting “greatest conflict.”
2. The source of conflict is most likely to be the priest’s leadership style (58% declining) or budget woes (58%), and more distantly be ordination of gay clergy (39%) among those reporting the most serious conflict.
3. When congregations always kneel for prayer, 30% are growing. Among those who never or seldom kneel for prayer, 45% are growing. (Could these also be affected by other factors, such as newness or younger age?)
4. Leaders holding onto key positions contributes to membership decline.
Where there is a lot of leadership post rotation, 22% are declining.
Where there is a small amount of rotation, 36% are declining.
Where the same people tend to serve in the same roles, 50% are declining.
5. High proportion of spending on building maintenance relates to declining membership.
If 10% or less of budget goes to B&G, 23% are declining.
If 50% or more of budget goes to B&G, 50% are declining, with stair-step intervals in
between.
6. If clergy leave too soon, or stay too long, the congregation declines.
When the rector or vicar was called in the past three years, under 20% are growing.
When the rector or vicar was called four to ten years ago, the scale ranges from 38% growing (at ten years) to 51% growing (four years). After ten years, the percentage growing drops to 27
7. Reducing clergy attention accompanies decline.
When congregations have an interim, or no priest, 51% are declining.
When there is a part-time or retired priest, 47% are declining.
Where there is one priest, 32% are declining.
Where there are multiple priests on staff, 24% are declining.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 93 Growth and Decline 3
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 93
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART III
SIGNIFICANT CORRELATIONS WITH CHURCH GROWTH!
1. Gotta have joyful worship!
Not, to slightly joyful—8% growing
Somewhat joyfull—25%
Quite joyful—33%
Very joyful—39%
2. Members involved in evangelism—a very big factor
Not at all—21% growing
A little—22% growing
Some—35% growing
Quite a bit—54%
A lot—64%
3. Special Events and Programs are good
Never held—17% growing
Once or twice—31%
Several times a year—38%
Once a month or more—43%
4. Emphasis on Adult Formation
None—22% growing
Some—31%
A lot—40%
A specialty—37%
5. Emphasis on YOUNG Adult Activities Helps
None—27% growing
Some—37%
A lot—37%
A specialty—50%
6. Contacts of Newcomers Help! (Don’t leave it all to clergy!)
No contacts—20% growing
One type contact—33%
Two types of contact—37%
Three types of contact—36%
Four types of contact—38%
Five types of contact—50%
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART III
SIGNIFICANT CORRELATIONS WITH CHURCH GROWTH!
1. Gotta have joyful worship!
Not, to slightly joyful—8% growing
Somewhat joyfull—25%
Quite joyful—33%
Very joyful—39%
2. Members involved in evangelism—a very big factor
Not at all—21% growing
A little—22% growing
Some—35% growing
Quite a bit—54%
A lot—64%
3. Special Events and Programs are good
Never held—17% growing
Once or twice—31%
Several times a year—38%
Once a month or more—43%
4. Emphasis on Adult Formation
None—22% growing
Some—31%
A lot—40%
A specialty—37%
5. Emphasis on YOUNG Adult Activities Helps
None—27% growing
Some—37%
A lot—37%
A specialty—50%
6. Contacts of Newcomers Help! (Don’t leave it all to clergy!)
No contacts—20% growing
One type contact—33%
Two types of contact—37%
Three types of contact—36%
Four types of contact—38%
Five types of contact—50%
A Volley from the Canon, Number 92 Growth and Decline 2
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, 92
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART II
FACTORS LEADING TO GROWTH
1. Newer Congregations grow more:
67% of those established since 1993 are growing.
53% , established 1969—1992
25%, established 1946—1968
26%, established 1901—1945
35% , established pre 1900
2. Location means—a little.
Newer suburbs or downtown congregations-- 39% are growing
Rural area, small town, small city—34-35% are growing
Older suburb or older residential area—25%
3. Churches with lots of newcomers are likely to grow (duh!):
(I won’t cloud those waters with numbers.)
4. Tech savy helps (email, website, podcasts, Twitter, etc.):
No or one kind—21% are growing
Two types—32%
Three types—38^
Four or more types—44%
5. Wanting growth does help:
Congregation not supportive of growth—21% growing anyway
Congregations somewhat supportive—31% growing
Congregations strongly supportive—39% growing
6. Variety in Sunday morning worship helps some:
Where there is one service—35% are growing
Where multiple services are similar—29%
Where multiple services are somewhat different—29%
Where multiple services are very different—39%
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART II
FACTORS LEADING TO GROWTH
1. Newer Congregations grow more:
67% of those established since 1993 are growing.
53% , established 1969—1992
25%, established 1946—1968
26%, established 1901—1945
35% , established pre 1900
2. Location means—a little.
Newer suburbs or downtown congregations-- 39% are growing
Rural area, small town, small city—34-35% are growing
Older suburb or older residential area—25%
3. Churches with lots of newcomers are likely to grow (duh!):
(I won’t cloud those waters with numbers.)
4. Tech savy helps (email, website, podcasts, Twitter, etc.):
No or one kind—21% are growing
Two types—32%
Three types—38^
Four or more types—44%
5. Wanting growth does help:
Congregation not supportive of growth—21% growing anyway
Congregations somewhat supportive—31% growing
Congregations strongly supportive—39% growing
6. Variety in Sunday morning worship helps some:
Where there is one service—35% are growing
Where multiple services are similar—29%
Where multiple services are somewhat different—29%
Where multiple services are very different—39%
A Volley from the Canon, Number 91 Growth and Decline 1
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 91
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART I
Kirk Hadaway, the man who crunches your Annual Parish Report numbers for Church Center, has also tallied a survey that went out to all Episcopal congregations, netting a high response rate. Comparing the responses of those congregations to his own data on whether the parish is growing or declining, he has produced some interesting, though not terribly surprising, findings. I’ll cluster these and dole them out in several doses over the next few weeks.
First of all, in case you missed it, we suffered a serious hit in membership relative to population in the early 2000’s to the present (it isn’t over yet), as severe as the one we experienced in the first half of the 1970’s. We rebounded from that earlier one, as well as from two much smaller dips in the late 1980’s and the late 1990’s. It remains to be seen whether and when we will bounce back from this present one.
EPISCOPAL CHURCH AND AGE
We are an “old” church, and getting older. Only our median-age adults, 35-49, mirror the society (19% vs. 22% U. S. population at large.) At either end of the spectrum, there is a big skewer. While 28% of the U. S. are children and youth, only 15% of Episcopalians are. While 13% of Americans are seniors, 30% of Episcopalians are. Some 20% of Americans are young adults, but 10% of Episcopalians are (our missing age group!). While 18% in the U. S. are in middle age, 26% of Episcopalians are.
The “bad news” is: congregations of elderly are less likely to grow. In congregations with 30% or less elderly members, 63% reported membership growth. However, in congregations with 75% or more elderly, only 30% reported membership growth. (But hey! SOME churches of elderly ARE growing!)
EPISCOPAL CHURCH AND RACE
We remain a strongly white, non-Hispanic church (87%). African-Americans comprise 6.3%; Hispanics 3.3%; Asians/Pacific 1.4%; Multi-racial 1.1%, and Native American .8%. However, looking at growth: growth among whites has been only 3 % in the first decade of this millennium ; for blacks, 13%; Asians 33%; Hispanics 34%; other races 31%. So we are becoming more diverse racially over-all.
Among those groups, but predominance in congregations, the Hispanic congregations (53% are growing) and Asian congregations (50%) are experiencing the most growth , with multiple race ones close behind (44%). Thirty-five percent of Anglo congregations are growing, and 32% of black ones, but only 27% of Native American congregations.
EPISCOPAL CHURCH GROWTH AND DECLINE, PART I
Kirk Hadaway, the man who crunches your Annual Parish Report numbers for Church Center, has also tallied a survey that went out to all Episcopal congregations, netting a high response rate. Comparing the responses of those congregations to his own data on whether the parish is growing or declining, he has produced some interesting, though not terribly surprising, findings. I’ll cluster these and dole them out in several doses over the next few weeks.
First of all, in case you missed it, we suffered a serious hit in membership relative to population in the early 2000’s to the present (it isn’t over yet), as severe as the one we experienced in the first half of the 1970’s. We rebounded from that earlier one, as well as from two much smaller dips in the late 1980’s and the late 1990’s. It remains to be seen whether and when we will bounce back from this present one.
EPISCOPAL CHURCH AND AGE
We are an “old” church, and getting older. Only our median-age adults, 35-49, mirror the society (19% vs. 22% U. S. population at large.) At either end of the spectrum, there is a big skewer. While 28% of the U. S. are children and youth, only 15% of Episcopalians are. While 13% of Americans are seniors, 30% of Episcopalians are. Some 20% of Americans are young adults, but 10% of Episcopalians are (our missing age group!). While 18% in the U. S. are in middle age, 26% of Episcopalians are.
The “bad news” is: congregations of elderly are less likely to grow. In congregations with 30% or less elderly members, 63% reported membership growth. However, in congregations with 75% or more elderly, only 30% reported membership growth. (But hey! SOME churches of elderly ARE growing!)
EPISCOPAL CHURCH AND RACE
We remain a strongly white, non-Hispanic church (87%). African-Americans comprise 6.3%; Hispanics 3.3%; Asians/Pacific 1.4%; Multi-racial 1.1%, and Native American .8%. However, looking at growth: growth among whites has been only 3 % in the first decade of this millennium ; for blacks, 13%; Asians 33%; Hispanics 34%; other races 31%. So we are becoming more diverse racially over-all.
Among those groups, but predominance in congregations, the Hispanic congregations (53% are growing) and Asian congregations (50%) are experiencing the most growth , with multiple race ones close behind (44%). Thirty-five percent of Anglo congregations are growing, and 32% of black ones, but only 27% of Native American congregations.
A Volley from the Canon, Number 90 t'he Jerusalem Project
ST. NICHOLAS BRINGS GIFTS TO CHRISTIAN CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE-EAST
The Feast of St. Nicholas is coming upon us soon (December 6). What plans are you making in your congregation to honor the favorite saint of children everywhere and to teach about his fabled concern for the poor and the homeless prior to the onslaught of the annual national consumer mania?
The American Friends of the Society of Jerusalem has devised a plan to help foster the true cause of St. Nicholas and help the Episcopal Diocese of Jerusalem minister to the people of the Holy Land at the same time. They are providing materials for a St. Nicholas Festival and Pageant (feel free to create your own observation as well), which could take place on the First Sunday of Advent or the actual Feast Day itself, which is on a Monday this year. Materials are available at their website:
http://www.afedj.org/StNicholasDay2010_2.html
The Diocese of Jerusalem serves Christians in Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, Jordan, and Syria, where the Christian population dwindles annually due to the extraordinarily difficult political, economic, and social conditions in all of those countries. In the midst of such complex challenges, the Diocese operates schools, hospitals, orphanages, economic development projects, and of course parishes. But the difficulties are great. What would the Holy Land be like without an indigenous Christian presence? That reality may come upon us if help does not come soon and generously to our church in the region.
In the spirit of St. Nicholas, a special offering to support the ministries of the Diocese of Jerusalem would be most welcome and a fitting start to the Advent season. Contributions may be sent directly to the Diocese, through its website http://www.j-diocese.org/ or through the American Friends at http://www.afedj.org/ In both cases, there is provision for direct online contributions, so that the congregational offering and individual donations as well will be easy to deliver. Check out the ideas and make sure your Christian Formation leaders have access to them, too!
A blessed St. Nicholas Day to all!
The Feast of St. Nicholas is coming upon us soon (December 6). What plans are you making in your congregation to honor the favorite saint of children everywhere and to teach about his fabled concern for the poor and the homeless prior to the onslaught of the annual national consumer mania?
The American Friends of the Society of Jerusalem has devised a plan to help foster the true cause of St. Nicholas and help the Episcopal Diocese of Jerusalem minister to the people of the Holy Land at the same time. They are providing materials for a St. Nicholas Festival and Pageant (feel free to create your own observation as well), which could take place on the First Sunday of Advent or the actual Feast Day itself, which is on a Monday this year. Materials are available at their website:
http://www.afedj.org/StNicholasDay2010_2.html
The Diocese of Jerusalem serves Christians in Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, Jordan, and Syria, where the Christian population dwindles annually due to the extraordinarily difficult political, economic, and social conditions in all of those countries. In the midst of such complex challenges, the Diocese operates schools, hospitals, orphanages, economic development projects, and of course parishes. But the difficulties are great. What would the Holy Land be like without an indigenous Christian presence? That reality may come upon us if help does not come soon and generously to our church in the region.
In the spirit of St. Nicholas, a special offering to support the ministries of the Diocese of Jerusalem would be most welcome and a fitting start to the Advent season. Contributions may be sent directly to the Diocese, through its website http://www.j-diocese.org/ or through the American Friends at http://www.afedj.org/ In both cases, there is provision for direct online contributions, so that the congregational offering and individual donations as well will be easy to deliver. Check out the ideas and make sure your Christian Formation leaders have access to them, too!
A blessed St. Nicholas Day to all!
A Volley from the Canon, Number 89 An Encounter
A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 89
REFLECTIONS ON AN ENCOUNTER
The flight from LaGuardia to Detroit was full, and I was glad to have my window seat so that I could rest my head against the bulkhead to sleep. My row-mates were already seated. The Man in the Middle, a handsome, well-dressed, young (twenties) Indian man, was already chatting with the Aisle Seat. I slipped in, and he soon turned to me.
“So, what do you do?”
Moral dilemma number one for the morning: Do I tell the truth and deal with the consequences, or do I lie and then have to make up dozens of further lies to cover it? I really don’t know much about any other profession. I told the truth.
My new friend’s face lit up with excitement. He had himself a real, live priest, cornered in the window seat, unable to escape until we arrived in Detroit. He dived right into the deep end of the conversational pool.
“How do you define God?” he wanted to know.
I must admit, my first thought, regretfully eyeing the bulkhead where I had intended to rest my head, was “Oh, xxxx.” It was the word “define” that threw me—it sounds so rigid and boxed in, something I don’t want to apply to God.
But the Voice inside my head reproved me. “Don’t say, ‘Oh, xxxx,” it said, “Say, ‘Oh Jesus.’ Cause xxxx ain’t gone help you.”
Recognizing that head-voice, I knew, then, that Jesus was in this. I knew also that I was being challenged and reminded. I must—we all must—be prepared to field questions on faith and theology from interested and well-intentioned inquirers, at all times and in all places, and we must take questions, and translate our responses, in other people’s terms, because they don’t know how to converse with us in our terms.
My three-second preparation time had passed.
I told him that I believe that God is the source and origin of all things—and God is the one who repairs and restores all things that are broken or fallen from their created purpose—and God is the one who draws together and reconnects all things in unity with each other and with God. And underneath all that, the power and the purpose of God is what we call Love, which includes generosity, compassion, patience, forbearance, and forgiveness.
“Is God a person?” he pressed.
“Yes, intimately involved with creation. And I do believe that God is most clearly revealed in the life and teaching of Jesus.”
Seat-mate reflected on my statement for a moment, nodding. Then he shifted to what I believe was what was really bothering him, what preoccupied his mind that day.
“Don’t you think it is odd that just about all people, no matter where they are from or what their religion or background, spend so much time and effort trying to accumulate as much wealth as possible, when they know from the beginning that one day they will die and leave every bit of that behind them?”
“Yes, I do think that is odd, and sad,” I said. “Maybe that is why we all need that God who restores and reconnects.”
He was mostly silent for a while, except to say, “You can tell me to be quiet any time, you know.”
“I don’t think I need to do that,” I said.
He smiled, and we talked about a few other things for a while. Then, he told me that he was flying all the way from India today for one meeting in Detroit, that had to do with car and truck manufacture and sale in some way. (We did not share the same English dialect, and with engines roaring, I didn’t catch every word.)
Afterward, he would get on another plane and fly back home again. He had another stumper first, though.
“Since you are a priest, you must be a very holy man.”
I hope I did not roll my eyes up toward heaven, but I did call upon the divine name again. “Jesus, now you’ve set this young man to meddling,” I thought. But I knew the response already: That’s Just How It Is.
He wasn’t finished. “You have so much knowledge and wisdom to share with so many people.”
This time I had to respond. “I don’t mind for YOU to say that, but if I ever start thinking that, I’m in very serious trouble.”
After awhile, we landed in Detroit, and passengers began to deplane. My friend paused, though.
“Before we go, would you give me your good wishes?” he asked.
He wanted my blessing. He even slightly bowed his head.
So I said, “Having come all this way, I know that you are as well-prepared for your meeting as you can be. So I hope it goes well for you, and I hope for a safe and happy return to your home, and joy and blessings in the years to come.”
He fell into line with the others, and he left the plane smiling. I followed, setting my face toward Charleston, with much to reflect upon.
REFLECTIONS ON AN ENCOUNTER
The flight from LaGuardia to Detroit was full, and I was glad to have my window seat so that I could rest my head against the bulkhead to sleep. My row-mates were already seated. The Man in the Middle, a handsome, well-dressed, young (twenties) Indian man, was already chatting with the Aisle Seat. I slipped in, and he soon turned to me.
“So, what do you do?”
Moral dilemma number one for the morning: Do I tell the truth and deal with the consequences, or do I lie and then have to make up dozens of further lies to cover it? I really don’t know much about any other profession. I told the truth.
My new friend’s face lit up with excitement. He had himself a real, live priest, cornered in the window seat, unable to escape until we arrived in Detroit. He dived right into the deep end of the conversational pool.
“How do you define God?” he wanted to know.
I must admit, my first thought, regretfully eyeing the bulkhead where I had intended to rest my head, was “Oh, xxxx.” It was the word “define” that threw me—it sounds so rigid and boxed in, something I don’t want to apply to God.
But the Voice inside my head reproved me. “Don’t say, ‘Oh, xxxx,” it said, “Say, ‘Oh Jesus.’ Cause xxxx ain’t gone help you.”
Recognizing that head-voice, I knew, then, that Jesus was in this. I knew also that I was being challenged and reminded. I must—we all must—be prepared to field questions on faith and theology from interested and well-intentioned inquirers, at all times and in all places, and we must take questions, and translate our responses, in other people’s terms, because they don’t know how to converse with us in our terms.
My three-second preparation time had passed.
I told him that I believe that God is the source and origin of all things—and God is the one who repairs and restores all things that are broken or fallen from their created purpose—and God is the one who draws together and reconnects all things in unity with each other and with God. And underneath all that, the power and the purpose of God is what we call Love, which includes generosity, compassion, patience, forbearance, and forgiveness.
“Is God a person?” he pressed.
“Yes, intimately involved with creation. And I do believe that God is most clearly revealed in the life and teaching of Jesus.”
Seat-mate reflected on my statement for a moment, nodding. Then he shifted to what I believe was what was really bothering him, what preoccupied his mind that day.
“Don’t you think it is odd that just about all people, no matter where they are from or what their religion or background, spend so much time and effort trying to accumulate as much wealth as possible, when they know from the beginning that one day they will die and leave every bit of that behind them?”
“Yes, I do think that is odd, and sad,” I said. “Maybe that is why we all need that God who restores and reconnects.”
He was mostly silent for a while, except to say, “You can tell me to be quiet any time, you know.”
“I don’t think I need to do that,” I said.
He smiled, and we talked about a few other things for a while. Then, he told me that he was flying all the way from India today for one meeting in Detroit, that had to do with car and truck manufacture and sale in some way. (We did not share the same English dialect, and with engines roaring, I didn’t catch every word.)
Afterward, he would get on another plane and fly back home again. He had another stumper first, though.
“Since you are a priest, you must be a very holy man.”
I hope I did not roll my eyes up toward heaven, but I did call upon the divine name again. “Jesus, now you’ve set this young man to meddling,” I thought. But I knew the response already: That’s Just How It Is.
He wasn’t finished. “You have so much knowledge and wisdom to share with so many people.”
This time I had to respond. “I don’t mind for YOU to say that, but if I ever start thinking that, I’m in very serious trouble.”
After awhile, we landed in Detroit, and passengers began to deplane. My friend paused, though.
“Before we go, would you give me your good wishes?” he asked.
He wanted my blessing. He even slightly bowed his head.
So I said, “Having come all this way, I know that you are as well-prepared for your meeting as you can be. So I hope it goes well for you, and I hope for a safe and happy return to your home, and joy and blessings in the years to come.”
He fell into line with the others, and he left the plane smiling. I followed, setting my face toward Charleston, with much to reflect upon.
Don't Give
An article for Dayspring, newspaper for the Diocese of West Virginia, summer 2011
Don’t Give!
Of course, I don’t’ really mean ‘don’t give.’ I mean, ‘Don’t give--MUCH!’ It’s your money. You earned it, out of your own skill, your own time, your own strength, and your own effort. No one helped you. No one gave you anything . You are a self-made person, and you did it all by yourself. When did any door open for you that you did not bust open for yourself? Don’t ever let anyone chip away at that assurance, and get you to thinking that you actually got a leg up somehow, by the family or even country you were born into, or the help and attention, or opportunities, your family, teachers, or others gave you, or any God-given gifts, skills, or even personality traits you may have been blessed with. You’re you! You earned it! Take the credit!
You will give something, because you are a member of the church. Just in case. If there is a hell, well, the company there might be more fun, but if the church folks are right about it, the climate is not so great, and the work conditions are not exactly white-collar—so, on the whole, if there is a heaven, you might as well go, if you can’t live forever. You are aware that you’ve never seen a hearse towing a U-haul trailer. At least they won’t be shaking you down for money in heaven—not that there would be anything fun to spend it on!
But DON’T hand in a pledge card. Who knows what catastrophe may strike during the coming year, or what neat new thing you might want to spend your money on? There’s probably a wall-sized LED TV in production somewhere, and you know you gotta have it. Also, you’d have to give, then, every week or month, not just when you actually attend church.
No, you want to contribute only when you are present to place your gift in the offering, and others can see you do it. Here’s what I recommend: look in your purse or wallet, and see what is the smallest denomination bill you have in there. If it is a dollar, you could give two and look extra generous. But be sure to fold them several times so that the numbers don’t show. A five is about right for a single-bill donation. Never, under any circumstances, go to church with only a bill larger than twenty alone in your wallet. Even the twenty is for desperate circumstances. You know you are not going to put that fifty in, so then you’d be unable to place anything into the offering plate at all, if it’s all you have, and someone would be bound to see that. The change in your pocket is fine, though, as long as there is an envelope in the pew you can place it in, to cut down on that comical and embarrassing clatter in the plate--although they must be expecting change, because they have that velvet pad in the bottom of the basin. (And in the above instance, when you just don’t have any cash appropriate for a church offering, just hand in the empty offering envelope—without your name on it, of course.)
If you can swing it (like if you listened to announcements or read the newsletter at the right time to know when the Pledge Sunday would be), stay home that day. Otherwise, you might panic or succumb to guilt and pressure, and hand in a card. That would result in lasting grief for you.
In fact, don’t go to any stewardship programs or meetings. They are just not worth the free food. (See how clever these people are, how manipulative? They know all our weaknesses and they exploit them shamelessly) You know they’re going to talk about money—your money. It will be cheaper for you, seriously, to buy your own lunch.
If you do accidentally get exposed to some teaching on Stewardship, don’t let them get you to begin to think of Stewardship in terms of other areas of life beyond just money. It’s a process of contagion and indoctrination, just a technique for tricking you into thinking that money is just another aspect of life, and that God is somehow involved in that.
Or, alternatively (and this will work almost as well), if they are talking about all that other life stuff, don’t let anyone bring money into the circle—if you can keep the focus on health, time, gifts, environment, not money, you can save thousands.
In the area of health—you’re doing the best you can. It’s mostly genetic anyway. You take your prescriptions. You watch your weight, so you can fit into your skinny jeans. (And you know fat people don’t get promoted.) So you’re taking care of yourself.
Time—what time? You don’t have any to spare. You hardly have time for a round of golf or a day of shopping, and you certainly don’t have time for any kind of activity that might be called “ministry.”
Talents, gifts—that’s an easy one, you don’t have any. Oh, sure, you have education, you have knowledge, you have skills. But those are yours, not God’s. Don’t let that camel stick its nose under your tent flap!
Concerning the environment—you don’t litter. What more can anyone expect? It isn’t as if you have any control over anything. How could anyone reasonably expect you to involve yourself in any ecological advocacy that could possibly reduce the value of your stock portfolio, even temporarily! Sure, it’s ironic, if you think about it, that one can take total credit for every aspect of one’s own success—none for God--and yet take no responsibility at all for the impact on the earth, of the economy that produced that success—lay it all on God—but don’t think about that. That sort of thinking is for wishy-washy, mamby-pamby, milque-toast people. You know that human activity cannot affect God’s creation: that is a theological principle, a matter of religious faith! And you are a religious person. Be strong!
So don’t put up with any talk about stewardship at any time of year other than the annual pledge drive, when it is a hard-to-avoid annoyance. You know it’s all about pledging, anyway, and if they spread it out, you may have difficulty avoiding the subject, or preventing “topic creep,” the expansion of the subject of stewardship beyond money and into other unrelated areas of life, which can be awkward.
Now this is very important: Don’t look at your own giving history. It’s depressing, if you are susceptible to that sort of navel-gazing. The only reason you would need to know your total giving would be to deduct it from your income taxes, but if you follow the rest of my suggestions carefully, you won’t give enough to make any significant difference anyway, so that is not really important to you.
Above all, don’t figure the amount of your giving as a percentage of your income. That is one of their sneaky traps to make us feel guilty. Guilt is bad for you! It is stressful and unhealthy. The shock, if you are in a vulnerable moment, could put you in the hospital. It could be dangerous to your health, and hospitalization would certainly be dangerous to your pocket-book.
When you let someone, or even yourself, lay guilt on you, you get to a point where the only cure would be, a) to stop doing what is making you feel guilty, and b) ask God or the person you wronged to forgive you. Since you have no intention to stop looking out for number one, and you’re much too proud and self-sufficient to seek forgiveness, by all means avoid feeling guilt at all times, even if it keeps you away from church and Sunday School for months at a time.
Thinking about giving in terms of percentage is fraught with other, more practical dangers. Keep it at the fund-raising level. Demand to know exactly what is the minimum amount the church needs to keep the lights on and the doors open—no raises, no extra staff, no frills! Fix the furnace when it breaks. Patch the roof when it leaks, not before. People who work for the church want to live simply and make sacrifices, so it is only charitable on your part to help them do it.
Remember—if everyone did give proportionally, particularly if everyone tithed, your congregation would have a brand new and unheard of problem: what to do with a large sum of excess money. You know they would only give it away! Most likely to poor people who might not even deserve the help. After all, didn’t Jesus always check whether people deserved to be healed or fed before he helped them? -- Well, even if he didn’t, that’s Jesus, not you. What does his response have to do with yours? You’re only human—he’s…whatever. And don’t ask him about that! That could just start up a conversation you don’t want to get into. Best not to bring it up.
Or, with all that money, they would spend some of it on useless items like formation programs, children’s and youth activities, care and activities for the elderly, that sort of thing—projects that either aren’t needed or that ought to pay their own way. When (and if) you ever have a few extra bucks to waste, like from a huge inheritance, or when your accountant recommends it to reduce your taxes, make sure you buy some piece of obscure liturgical paraphernalia that won’t get used much, so it will last a long time. Centuries, even. And be sure you get your name engraved on it. Don’t waste such an opportunity for earthly immortality.
Now, this is even above “above all:” Don’t pray about your own stewardship. Better yet, to be safe, don’t pray at all, unless you need to ask for something. What if God answers that prayer with questions of his own-- and challenges? If you don’t want to hear the answer to a question, don’t ask the question. Even with God. Especially with God.
Don’t ever forget that the practice of giving generously would change you! In ways you can hardly now imagine! Do you really want that? They tell us all the time that God loves us just as we are, so why mess with that? Becoming compassionate, non-judgmental, and generous-hearted now would be over-achievement. It would be like handing in your research project two or three weeks before it was due. Of course, in our case, we are not quite sure when it is due, or even when the semester ends…but don’t worry about that. Cramming for finals is a long-practiced Christian tradition, dating back at least to the Emperor Constantine, who was baptized on his deathbed. Now that guy had it down pat! Sure, you’re going to become harp-worthy one of these days. But why rush it?
If you follow these cautions very intentionally, you will succeed in keeping your money in your bank and investment accounts, where it belongs, and not in the hands of irresponsible church leaders who will only misspend it. This plan will guarantee that your church will remain lean and mean, like your business, the way you want it. It will stifle unnecessary and wasteful “ministries” that only coddle the irresponsible and idle poor, such as the homeless and the unemployed, at the expense of hard-working, home-owning, upright citizens. It will keep out the riff-raff, and hold down membership rolls to manageable levels. Also, the less money that comes in to the congregation, the less they pass on to the diocese, and that is always a positive side-effect.
I do not guarantee that you will always be able to pay the full salary of a seminary-trained, professional priest, a music director, a church secretary, or a sexton, and certainly you won’t be wasting money on a Christian educator or youth leader. But if you play your cards right, you can probably get as clergy someone just as good-- well-read, and experienced in practical clergying, for practically nothing, and you may be able to cut down on some of the clergy meddling and unrealistic expectations, if you can keep that role down to part-time. The other should be done by volunteers who haven’t much else to do, anyway.
It’s your money, and your mouth—put them both where you want them to serve you best. I’ve laid out the alternatives before you as frankly and plainly as I know how. Now ask yourself: what kind of church, and what kind of community, do I want to live in? What kind of God do I want to worship and serve, and what does God want for me? Surely, the very best! Am I really willing to drive the Camry or Avalon next time instead of the Lexus? Can I wear my outfits a few more times, or switch to some less fashionable brands without dying from embarrassment? Can I drink the Americano sometimes, rather than the Caramel Mocha Latte, and not barf? Could one of our long-weekend getaways be to one of the state resorts instead of Kiawah? If the answer to these and other questions like them is a resounding ‘NO,’ then I’ve just equipped you with resolve to hold your ground and keep up your standards for personal self-care.
But the choice is yours. You decide. Only you can.
Don’t Give!
Of course, I don’t’ really mean ‘don’t give.’ I mean, ‘Don’t give--MUCH!’ It’s your money. You earned it, out of your own skill, your own time, your own strength, and your own effort. No one helped you. No one gave you anything . You are a self-made person, and you did it all by yourself. When did any door open for you that you did not bust open for yourself? Don’t ever let anyone chip away at that assurance, and get you to thinking that you actually got a leg up somehow, by the family or even country you were born into, or the help and attention, or opportunities, your family, teachers, or others gave you, or any God-given gifts, skills, or even personality traits you may have been blessed with. You’re you! You earned it! Take the credit!
You will give something, because you are a member of the church. Just in case. If there is a hell, well, the company there might be more fun, but if the church folks are right about it, the climate is not so great, and the work conditions are not exactly white-collar—so, on the whole, if there is a heaven, you might as well go, if you can’t live forever. You are aware that you’ve never seen a hearse towing a U-haul trailer. At least they won’t be shaking you down for money in heaven—not that there would be anything fun to spend it on!
But DON’T hand in a pledge card. Who knows what catastrophe may strike during the coming year, or what neat new thing you might want to spend your money on? There’s probably a wall-sized LED TV in production somewhere, and you know you gotta have it. Also, you’d have to give, then, every week or month, not just when you actually attend church.
No, you want to contribute only when you are present to place your gift in the offering, and others can see you do it. Here’s what I recommend: look in your purse or wallet, and see what is the smallest denomination bill you have in there. If it is a dollar, you could give two and look extra generous. But be sure to fold them several times so that the numbers don’t show. A five is about right for a single-bill donation. Never, under any circumstances, go to church with only a bill larger than twenty alone in your wallet. Even the twenty is for desperate circumstances. You know you are not going to put that fifty in, so then you’d be unable to place anything into the offering plate at all, if it’s all you have, and someone would be bound to see that. The change in your pocket is fine, though, as long as there is an envelope in the pew you can place it in, to cut down on that comical and embarrassing clatter in the plate--although they must be expecting change, because they have that velvet pad in the bottom of the basin. (And in the above instance, when you just don’t have any cash appropriate for a church offering, just hand in the empty offering envelope—without your name on it, of course.)
If you can swing it (like if you listened to announcements or read the newsletter at the right time to know when the Pledge Sunday would be), stay home that day. Otherwise, you might panic or succumb to guilt and pressure, and hand in a card. That would result in lasting grief for you.
In fact, don’t go to any stewardship programs or meetings. They are just not worth the free food. (See how clever these people are, how manipulative? They know all our weaknesses and they exploit them shamelessly) You know they’re going to talk about money—your money. It will be cheaper for you, seriously, to buy your own lunch.
If you do accidentally get exposed to some teaching on Stewardship, don’t let them get you to begin to think of Stewardship in terms of other areas of life beyond just money. It’s a process of contagion and indoctrination, just a technique for tricking you into thinking that money is just another aspect of life, and that God is somehow involved in that.
Or, alternatively (and this will work almost as well), if they are talking about all that other life stuff, don’t let anyone bring money into the circle—if you can keep the focus on health, time, gifts, environment, not money, you can save thousands.
In the area of health—you’re doing the best you can. It’s mostly genetic anyway. You take your prescriptions. You watch your weight, so you can fit into your skinny jeans. (And you know fat people don’t get promoted.) So you’re taking care of yourself.
Time—what time? You don’t have any to spare. You hardly have time for a round of golf or a day of shopping, and you certainly don’t have time for any kind of activity that might be called “ministry.”
Talents, gifts—that’s an easy one, you don’t have any. Oh, sure, you have education, you have knowledge, you have skills. But those are yours, not God’s. Don’t let that camel stick its nose under your tent flap!
Concerning the environment—you don’t litter. What more can anyone expect? It isn’t as if you have any control over anything. How could anyone reasonably expect you to involve yourself in any ecological advocacy that could possibly reduce the value of your stock portfolio, even temporarily! Sure, it’s ironic, if you think about it, that one can take total credit for every aspect of one’s own success—none for God--and yet take no responsibility at all for the impact on the earth, of the economy that produced that success—lay it all on God—but don’t think about that. That sort of thinking is for wishy-washy, mamby-pamby, milque-toast people. You know that human activity cannot affect God’s creation: that is a theological principle, a matter of religious faith! And you are a religious person. Be strong!
So don’t put up with any talk about stewardship at any time of year other than the annual pledge drive, when it is a hard-to-avoid annoyance. You know it’s all about pledging, anyway, and if they spread it out, you may have difficulty avoiding the subject, or preventing “topic creep,” the expansion of the subject of stewardship beyond money and into other unrelated areas of life, which can be awkward.
Now this is very important: Don’t look at your own giving history. It’s depressing, if you are susceptible to that sort of navel-gazing. The only reason you would need to know your total giving would be to deduct it from your income taxes, but if you follow the rest of my suggestions carefully, you won’t give enough to make any significant difference anyway, so that is not really important to you.
Above all, don’t figure the amount of your giving as a percentage of your income. That is one of their sneaky traps to make us feel guilty. Guilt is bad for you! It is stressful and unhealthy. The shock, if you are in a vulnerable moment, could put you in the hospital. It could be dangerous to your health, and hospitalization would certainly be dangerous to your pocket-book.
When you let someone, or even yourself, lay guilt on you, you get to a point where the only cure would be, a) to stop doing what is making you feel guilty, and b) ask God or the person you wronged to forgive you. Since you have no intention to stop looking out for number one, and you’re much too proud and self-sufficient to seek forgiveness, by all means avoid feeling guilt at all times, even if it keeps you away from church and Sunday School for months at a time.
Thinking about giving in terms of percentage is fraught with other, more practical dangers. Keep it at the fund-raising level. Demand to know exactly what is the minimum amount the church needs to keep the lights on and the doors open—no raises, no extra staff, no frills! Fix the furnace when it breaks. Patch the roof when it leaks, not before. People who work for the church want to live simply and make sacrifices, so it is only charitable on your part to help them do it.
Remember—if everyone did give proportionally, particularly if everyone tithed, your congregation would have a brand new and unheard of problem: what to do with a large sum of excess money. You know they would only give it away! Most likely to poor people who might not even deserve the help. After all, didn’t Jesus always check whether people deserved to be healed or fed before he helped them? -- Well, even if he didn’t, that’s Jesus, not you. What does his response have to do with yours? You’re only human—he’s…whatever. And don’t ask him about that! That could just start up a conversation you don’t want to get into. Best not to bring it up.
Or, with all that money, they would spend some of it on useless items like formation programs, children’s and youth activities, care and activities for the elderly, that sort of thing—projects that either aren’t needed or that ought to pay their own way. When (and if) you ever have a few extra bucks to waste, like from a huge inheritance, or when your accountant recommends it to reduce your taxes, make sure you buy some piece of obscure liturgical paraphernalia that won’t get used much, so it will last a long time. Centuries, even. And be sure you get your name engraved on it. Don’t waste such an opportunity for earthly immortality.
Now, this is even above “above all:” Don’t pray about your own stewardship. Better yet, to be safe, don’t pray at all, unless you need to ask for something. What if God answers that prayer with questions of his own-- and challenges? If you don’t want to hear the answer to a question, don’t ask the question. Even with God. Especially with God.
Don’t ever forget that the practice of giving generously would change you! In ways you can hardly now imagine! Do you really want that? They tell us all the time that God loves us just as we are, so why mess with that? Becoming compassionate, non-judgmental, and generous-hearted now would be over-achievement. It would be like handing in your research project two or three weeks before it was due. Of course, in our case, we are not quite sure when it is due, or even when the semester ends…but don’t worry about that. Cramming for finals is a long-practiced Christian tradition, dating back at least to the Emperor Constantine, who was baptized on his deathbed. Now that guy had it down pat! Sure, you’re going to become harp-worthy one of these days. But why rush it?
If you follow these cautions very intentionally, you will succeed in keeping your money in your bank and investment accounts, where it belongs, and not in the hands of irresponsible church leaders who will only misspend it. This plan will guarantee that your church will remain lean and mean, like your business, the way you want it. It will stifle unnecessary and wasteful “ministries” that only coddle the irresponsible and idle poor, such as the homeless and the unemployed, at the expense of hard-working, home-owning, upright citizens. It will keep out the riff-raff, and hold down membership rolls to manageable levels. Also, the less money that comes in to the congregation, the less they pass on to the diocese, and that is always a positive side-effect.
I do not guarantee that you will always be able to pay the full salary of a seminary-trained, professional priest, a music director, a church secretary, or a sexton, and certainly you won’t be wasting money on a Christian educator or youth leader. But if you play your cards right, you can probably get as clergy someone just as good-- well-read, and experienced in practical clergying, for practically nothing, and you may be able to cut down on some of the clergy meddling and unrealistic expectations, if you can keep that role down to part-time. The other should be done by volunteers who haven’t much else to do, anyway.
It’s your money, and your mouth—put them both where you want them to serve you best. I’ve laid out the alternatives before you as frankly and plainly as I know how. Now ask yourself: what kind of church, and what kind of community, do I want to live in? What kind of God do I want to worship and serve, and what does God want for me? Surely, the very best! Am I really willing to drive the Camry or Avalon next time instead of the Lexus? Can I wear my outfits a few more times, or switch to some less fashionable brands without dying from embarrassment? Can I drink the Americano sometimes, rather than the Caramel Mocha Latte, and not barf? Could one of our long-weekend getaways be to one of the state resorts instead of Kiawah? If the answer to these and other questions like them is a resounding ‘NO,’ then I’ve just equipped you with resolve to hold your ground and keep up your standards for personal self-care.
But the choice is yours. You decide. Only you can.
Mission and Meaning
An article for Dayspring newspaper of the Diocese of West Virginia, June 2011
Mission and Meaning
Bob Honeychurch, the Congregational Vitality officer for Church Center (though he works out of L. A.), flies a lot. He told a story recently about one of those inevitable airplane encounters, when he got seated beside a “compulsive communicator.” The man just could not shut up. But in the midst of all his verbiage, he shared with Bob a meaningful personal story. It seems the man came home one evening to find his wife all excited. On “Oprah” that afternoon, she had seen a program about the need for a family mission statement. Nothing would do but for the family to sit down at the dining table that very evening and hash out a mission statement for their family. Bob’s seatmate was not very amused, but he went through the process to keep the peace. At the end of the evening, they had a statement that said something like, “In all decisions, and in everything we do, we will put first the needs and well-being of the family.” It seemed obvious enough, but a big waste of an otherwise free evening.
“But you know,” the babbler said, “it turns out that our statement has made all kinds of differences in our lives for the good: in my job, my work schedule, where we live, what activities we participate in, how we spend our money, just about everything. It guides our whole lives.”
That’s what mission statements do. They guide.
A big part of my job is to go around working with congregations as they discover their unique mission, and help them express that in effective language. Listening to Bob, it dawned on me that, if I consider mission statements important, maybe I should have one for my own professional life. So I came up with one. This will guide, change, and inform how I do my job for the remainder of my active career:
My mission is to facilitate every congregation in the discernment, articulation, and implementation of its God-given mission.
Even more simply, my mission is to help others discover, state, and live into their mission. I can’t think of anything I could do that would be more important.
I encounter resistance to the idea of a mission statement. “We did that before,” people say, at work or at church, “and it didn’t amount to anything. No one could even remember it, and it never meant anything to anyone”
That happens, I find when:
A) The statement is too long, too detailed, too general, or too vague.
B) Only a few of the congregation had a hand in it, and others never “bought into it.”
C) The leadership gets lazy and fails to consult the mission statement regularly, and especially when making plans. There is no follow-through.
D) The statement is put on auto-pilot and allowed to get out-of-date. Things change.
In other words, it takes some discipline and work to make the statement effective. It takes time and effort to come up with a good one in the first place, and that is the source of much resistance also. It is easier just to pick something that seems like a good idea and do it. Unfortunately, that course of action results in wasted effort, directionlessness, lack of focus and direction, and perhaps even failure to accomplish God’s purpose. It is equivalent to an individual living day to day with no plans, no follow-through, and no reflection: satisfying within the moment, but where is the meaning? As Thoreau says, “The unexamined life is not worth living."
No congregation can do everything. A dib and a dab here and there is highly frustrating and ineffective. Worse, it fails to accomplish change, or to attract and hold commitment. “By far the most powerful force of attraction in organizations and in our individual lives is meaning,” writes Margaret Wheatley. If we hope for our church congregations to attract, they must convey meaning. To do that, they need to have a discernable, and a discerned, meaning to convey.
But we have to follow through. “Vision without action is a dream.” Says Joel Barker. “ Action without vision is simply passing the time.” To be effective, we must not have one without the other.
And I’ve learned to go against Episcopal tradition and the Vestry Handbook in this way: the work of discerning mission is not exclusive to the Vestry of the congregation. It is an activity for everyone in the community who wishes to participate. In fact, that breadth of inclusion is critical, for without it, we don’t get the buy-in necessary to make the mission statement work. “People will support what they helped create.” (Marvin Weisbord)
There is more to planning than just a mission statement, of course. The mission statement tells who we are, our identity and purpose. After that, a vision statement describes what we would act like if we lived up to our mission statement. Each is as unique and specific as God’s call. After that, there are objectives to implement the mission and vision, and goals to accomplish the objectives. Action plans lay out how the goals will be met, and then, of course, they must be implemented. Afterward, reflection and review let us know how we did, and how we can do better in the future.
All of this takes time and effort, but then, so does everything worthwhile. Our hope, in the end, is not just to spend our time wisely, or even to be a more successful church, by whatever measure. It is to be who God is calling us to be, and to participate in whatever ministry God is calling us to. There can be no better use of our time and effort than that.
Mission and Meaning
Bob Honeychurch, the Congregational Vitality officer for Church Center (though he works out of L. A.), flies a lot. He told a story recently about one of those inevitable airplane encounters, when he got seated beside a “compulsive communicator.” The man just could not shut up. But in the midst of all his verbiage, he shared with Bob a meaningful personal story. It seems the man came home one evening to find his wife all excited. On “Oprah” that afternoon, she had seen a program about the need for a family mission statement. Nothing would do but for the family to sit down at the dining table that very evening and hash out a mission statement for their family. Bob’s seatmate was not very amused, but he went through the process to keep the peace. At the end of the evening, they had a statement that said something like, “In all decisions, and in everything we do, we will put first the needs and well-being of the family.” It seemed obvious enough, but a big waste of an otherwise free evening.
“But you know,” the babbler said, “it turns out that our statement has made all kinds of differences in our lives for the good: in my job, my work schedule, where we live, what activities we participate in, how we spend our money, just about everything. It guides our whole lives.”
That’s what mission statements do. They guide.
A big part of my job is to go around working with congregations as they discover their unique mission, and help them express that in effective language. Listening to Bob, it dawned on me that, if I consider mission statements important, maybe I should have one for my own professional life. So I came up with one. This will guide, change, and inform how I do my job for the remainder of my active career:
My mission is to facilitate every congregation in the discernment, articulation, and implementation of its God-given mission.
Even more simply, my mission is to help others discover, state, and live into their mission. I can’t think of anything I could do that would be more important.
I encounter resistance to the idea of a mission statement. “We did that before,” people say, at work or at church, “and it didn’t amount to anything. No one could even remember it, and it never meant anything to anyone”
That happens, I find when:
A) The statement is too long, too detailed, too general, or too vague.
B) Only a few of the congregation had a hand in it, and others never “bought into it.”
C) The leadership gets lazy and fails to consult the mission statement regularly, and especially when making plans. There is no follow-through.
D) The statement is put on auto-pilot and allowed to get out-of-date. Things change.
In other words, it takes some discipline and work to make the statement effective. It takes time and effort to come up with a good one in the first place, and that is the source of much resistance also. It is easier just to pick something that seems like a good idea and do it. Unfortunately, that course of action results in wasted effort, directionlessness, lack of focus and direction, and perhaps even failure to accomplish God’s purpose. It is equivalent to an individual living day to day with no plans, no follow-through, and no reflection: satisfying within the moment, but where is the meaning? As Thoreau says, “The unexamined life is not worth living."
No congregation can do everything. A dib and a dab here and there is highly frustrating and ineffective. Worse, it fails to accomplish change, or to attract and hold commitment. “By far the most powerful force of attraction in organizations and in our individual lives is meaning,” writes Margaret Wheatley. If we hope for our church congregations to attract, they must convey meaning. To do that, they need to have a discernable, and a discerned, meaning to convey.
But we have to follow through. “Vision without action is a dream.” Says Joel Barker. “ Action without vision is simply passing the time.” To be effective, we must not have one without the other.
And I’ve learned to go against Episcopal tradition and the Vestry Handbook in this way: the work of discerning mission is not exclusive to the Vestry of the congregation. It is an activity for everyone in the community who wishes to participate. In fact, that breadth of inclusion is critical, for without it, we don’t get the buy-in necessary to make the mission statement work. “People will support what they helped create.” (Marvin Weisbord)
There is more to planning than just a mission statement, of course. The mission statement tells who we are, our identity and purpose. After that, a vision statement describes what we would act like if we lived up to our mission statement. Each is as unique and specific as God’s call. After that, there are objectives to implement the mission and vision, and goals to accomplish the objectives. Action plans lay out how the goals will be met, and then, of course, they must be implemented. Afterward, reflection and review let us know how we did, and how we can do better in the future.
All of this takes time and effort, but then, so does everything worthwhile. Our hope, in the end, is not just to spend our time wisely, or even to be a more successful church, by whatever measure. It is to be who God is calling us to be, and to participate in whatever ministry God is calling us to. There can be no better use of our time and effort than that.
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