Sunday, September 2, 2012

A Volley from the Canon, Number 133--Questions

A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, NUMBER 133 “What Must We Do to Be Saved?” Small Congregations Plead For Their Lives Part II: ASK THE TOUGH, HONEST QUESTIONS This is a conversation for the whole congregation (we’re talking small numbers here) to have together, facilitated by a friend from outside the congregation, trained in group leadership. True, in our tradition, vestries handle the day-to-day decision-making for the congregation. We are not a Congregationalist church. However, there is no point in a vestry doing this hard work only to have it undone by the real powers of the congregation. A serious turn-about requires near-unanimous, informed assent and cooperation. Some of these questions are tough, and the opinions expressed will be honest and not always easy to hear. My preference would be that the conversation be held in a “Circle of Trust” environment, which must be set up carefully in advance, and which would have several provisos for participants. The main one worth mentioning here is: the process is not about assigning blame. It is about sharing, with deliberation and care, the heart-felt observations and convictions of the group. At the same time, honesty requires acknowledging that something is amiss, and that must be recognized in order for it to be amended. THE QUESTIONS 1. Have we waited too late? I said the questions would be tough. Sadly, many small congregations have already missed their launch windows toward new life, barring the miraculous. A congregation in which the youth group is in their seventies is not likely to attract new members in their twenties. If they are few in number, drained of resources, exhausted from trying to hold the roof and furnace together, and plain burned out, the likelihood diminishes commensurately. However, note “likely” and “miraculous” above: unless the handwriting is clearly scratched onto the paint-needy walls, let us reserve judgment on this primary question until others have been considered. They’re just as hard, and relevant to this one. 2. Do we have what it takes to start over? That means energy and inner resourcefulness, primarily, attributes which some septuagenarians DO possess. Financial resources count also, though ability to raise money is almost as good as actual possession of money. It’s much, much better to have a handful of members who tithe, or who are working toward the tithe in a committed way, than ten times as many who toss a tener into the plate when they attend. Why? Because the tithers are faithful in other ways as well, including attendance. Any congregation that wants to survive had better end the taboo on talking about stewardship, and start to teach and encourage generosity and thanksgiving, fostering discipleship rather than membership, and encouraging growth toward the tithe. Push the delete button all you want to: this fact will not go away. More is needed, though, to restart a declining congregation. Innovative, energetic, cooperative leadership matters enormously. Didn’t Jesus say something about sizing up a task before rushing headlong into it? 3. What is our motivation, honestly? Do we really WANT the congregation to survive? It’s time for some soul-searching. O. K., I was baptized and married in this building. So what? That isn’t a reason for it to remain open. (The church is NOT a building!) • We do not need members so that we can have more money. New members are unlikely to give much initially, anyway, and if they are being recruited with that motivation, there won’t be many of them. • We do not need members to take some of the work burden off of us. Success is particularly improbable if we are standing there telling them how to do it. It takes time for a newcomer even to learn that there is much work to be done, much less to discover any joy in offering to share in it. Brace yourself: new people have new ideas. We can’t welcome one without the other. • We do not need to maintain the congregation because it is the “best club in town.” Conversely, that is a good reason for God to kill it. This is why the oft-heard praise “we love each other” is not attractive to potential new members. Love those who are NOT members of the congregation, and then we have something going! Oddly, some of the congregations most in danger have members who get along really well with one another—because they have already run off anyone who would threaten the control of the dominant leadership in any way. These congregations don’t really want new members. They only want their money and compliant work. • We do not need to maintain the church at least until after “my” funeral (whoever “my” is). If it hasn’t found a greater mission than that, it isn’t much of a church, anyway. • Sincerity about these things is imperative. We won’t fool anyone by dissembling. Of course, our motivations will never be pure or devoid of self-interest. Nevertheless, we need to work on them, and encourage each other to do so. The church exists to lean forward into the Kingdom of Heaven as described by Jesus, the Son of God: to proclaim by word and deed the Good News of salvation, to help reconcile people with God and one another, to work for justice and mercy, to worship God. When we focus on these things, we have something worthwhile to offer to others, and God might have a reason to send us some others. 4. Does the congregation regularly experience JOY in being together and in worshiping and serving God? If not, address that situation first. 5. Is someone or something running potential new members off? Stop it! I don’t think I’m allowed by social convention to put that in writing, or to say it out loud. We all know that it happens, though. First, let me reiterate my earlier comment about not using this exercise to settle blame. That is a tempting pastime, but it must be avoided. I’m not suggesting any kind of scape-goating, and the reasons for the decline in church participation are complex and societal. We live in a culture, though, in which it is often more important to be “nice” than it is to be truthful. (Oddly, that rule doesn’t seem to apply to the rude people, only to anyone who might call them on it.) Jesus did not set us an example of silently putting up with just any kind of destructive behavior. Rude behavior must be lovingly but firmly confronted and not tolerated, but dealt with discretely and appropriately (i.e., not in front of the whole congregation!) We’ve seen more than one congregation go under, in the end, in large measure because of the abrasive behavior of one or more of its final members. Why would we give them that kind of power over something we profess to love? 6. A cluster of related questions: Are we willing to change? Change how? -- Are we willing to refrain from sabotaging behaviors? Are we willing to undertake the role of minister in our congregation? Are we willing to be renewed in our spiritual commitment to follow Jesus? Trying new things can be scary, or exciting. It’s all in what we make of them. It is hard work, though, either way. The honest answer to this question determines the result of all the others above. If we are willing to change, sometimes just to get out of the way and let others manage change, then there is likely to be hope for our congregation yet. If we will not accept change, then the answer to question number one has been determined. One more bit of bad news in Part III, and then we move on to the fun stuff!

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