A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, # 80 When Praying Becomes Prying, part 2

A VOLLEY FROM THE CANON, # 80

When Praying Becomes Prying, part 2

I know sincere Christian people who have dropped out of intercessory prayer groups because they discovered that what was really happening there was a long conversation about the personal tragedies of others not present. We mean it only in the kindest, most compassionate way, of course! But there is a reason why those tabloid journals fly off the supermarket check-out racks, and why the evening news focuses on human misery and foolishness; and that reason is not flattering to human nature. People love to share bad news and play the “Ain’t it awful!” game. If we can do it in the guise of Christian charity, all the better.

There is another issue, though, related to intercessory prayer: how much information do I really need to pray for someone? I say, not much, and I believe it to be a spiritual issue. If we need to imagine the actual body part or cancer cells of the actual sick person in order to pray effectively for their healing, what does that say about WHOM we believe to be doing the healing? Aren’t we taking over God’s job? Not only do we not do the healing, we also do not know what kind of healing is most needed by the person for whom we pray. God does.

This carries over to the sacrament of unction, too. Several times, when presenting myself for unction at worship, I’ve been asked by the ministers to report what malady I am requesting prayer for. They may be people I don’t even know, and there may be a crowd of others standing around nearby. So, first, I don’t understand why they need to know in order to pray for a gift of healing. I consider that an invasive request in a public setting. God, after all, already knows my whole list. It would be a shame for people not to present themselves for unction out of fear that they might be challenged in that way. Now, if I go up and say, “I’m starting a new round of chemo-therapy this week, and I’m hoping for good results,” then that is a revelation offered of my own free will, and that’s fine. What I am suggesting is that the intercessors ought not to ask.

But in addition, how can I narrow my prayer request down to one thing? I could answer, “Well, I’m just generally a mess, and I need help and healing,” and that would be more accurate. We all need the hand of Jesus laid upon us for all kinds of troubles, physical, mental, and spiritual. Why tie God’s hands by concentrating only on one thing? I’d sooner have God feel free to fix up whatever needs fixing, even if I’m unaware of it.

Most importantly, we should remember that it is God who does the healing. Jesus encourages us to offer ourselves to be a part of that, through prayer and laying on of hands. How that works is, I suppose, in the category of Holy Mystery. I was moved some years ago by Madeleine L’Engle’s story of learning this truth when her husband Hugh was suffering in his final illness. At some point, she realized she did not know what to pray for: what was the best outcome for her husband? She learned simply to offer him to God in prayer, and let God decide how to respond. If we can keep our minds focused on that reality, we stand a chance of keeping our natural over-inquisitiveness at bay.