A Volley from the Canon, 47-48

NEW MEMBERS AND CLERGY CONTACT

It sounds so simple. Of course, everyone who visits a congregation for the first time would love to be contacted right away by the rector or missioner of the congregation, right? The sooner the better! Why not have them just drop in?

But whoa! Not so fast! While it is common for a couple or individual who visit a church for the first time to have that attitude, it is far from universal. Much depends on their former experience with church which, if they are newcomers, may be unknown. We also may need a quick review of Sizing Up Your Congregation (Alban Institute, Arlin Rothauge) to explain the complexity of the situation.

Our diocese is almost entirely composed of small (“family-size”) and medium-small (“pastoral-size”) congregations, with only one or two in the medium (“transition-to-program-size”) category. Groups in those size ranges vary considerably in their expectations about clergy role in leadership, communication, and new-member incorporation.

Small (up to about 75 average Sunday attendance) congregations are led by a small number of long-time members who are the go-to persons for any information about the church, and who ultimately make the important decisions about activities and events, finances, and acceptance of a new member. The clergy can be as welcoming as they want, but their contact cannot take the place of acceptance from these lay leaders. Introducing a prospective new member to the “patriarchs and matriarchs” and facilitating their getting to know and trust one another is essential to working new members into the small church. The clergy person, when he has a good relationship with the leaders (as he must, to survive), can help, but not control, that process. A visit from the priest probably doesn’t matter much: a phone call from the Altar Guild leader or a Warden can be a real sign of welcome and acceptance.

Medium-small (75 to 140-ish in ASA) congregations are clergy led. Yes, totally opposite. Clergy make or lead most decisions, and clergy are the ones who know everyone and know everything on the calendar (because they put it there.) You are a member of the congregation when the rector invites you to be. You know you matter to the congregation when the rector knows you (by name and particulars) and especially when she specifically invites you to take part in some parish activity. Of course, the friendliness and welcome of everyone matters—but if the priest does not remember your name, you’re toast in that congregation. Obviously, in this sociological setting, being visited by the clergy-person is very important to any prospective new member.

There is that other factor, though, of prior experience with church to consider. Has the person had a negative experience previously, and did it involve clergy? Has the person had a particularly close or happy pastoral relationship, with high expectations to match? Is the previous congregation either a family-size one or a pastoral-size one (we always think that what we’ve known in the past is normative.) Or, as is increasingly common, is this the first and only church experience the person has? Gently and politely finding out this information is a very important responsibility of the greeter team who welcome people on their first visit to the church. If, with sensitivity and genuine interest, they can discover and pass along to the clergy answers to these questions, the priest can accurately assess what kind of clergy response may be best in each particular situation.

Most of the time, a hand-written note of welcome from the rector or missioner of the congregation is an ideal first response, and it should arrive during the week following that first visit to worship. However, some congregations have a guest card or register in which the question is asked, “Would you like a call or visit from the clergy?” If that box is checked “yes,” then that call or visit has to take place right away, during that first week—and if the priest is to be away, then a card must be sent explaining that, with promise to call asap upon return.

There was a time when clergy had special license to drop in on anybody at any time. (That’s why the huge family Bible sat out on the coffee table to be dusted every week.) That time has passed. Now, unless we have specifically been told not to by an individual, we call in advance and inquire when a visit would be convenient.

It also used to be that home visits were always welcome. That may not necessarily be so today. The rise of coffee shops is a great solution to this dilemma. Now, we can say, “Would it be convenient for me to come by, or would you like to meet me at Espresso’s on the corner?” and we provide a comfortable alternative for anyone who, for whatever reason, is loathe to have a clergy visit at home. When the clergy family situation is conducive, it can also be helpful to invite newcomers, perhaps several at once, to the clergy home for a getting-acquainted visit (and in the pastoral size congregation, that would feel like a very welcome gesture.) Warm weather makes for opportunities for grilling on the deck or desserts on the patio or porch, which might seem even more comfortable for some.

If all this makes it seem terribly complicated, trying to figure out who would like to have a clergy visit and who would not, that’s because it is. Opportunities for small faux pas abound. There is one mistake that is just too big to make, though, and that is the mistake of clergy ignoring the matter entirely, and thereby alienating most everyone. Conveniently, there is one back-up solution that almost always works: just ask them what they would prefer. Who doesn’t like to be given a choice?

The welcome and inclusion of new members is not exclusively a clergy activity: it is a partnership between clergy and lay ministers in any congregation, and in many cases, the lay involvement is paramount.

A Volley from the Cannon, #46

CLUTTER

Is your congregation a pack-rat church? If so, you are not alone in our diocese.

Is it a place where no one has the courage to throw anything away, or pass it along to someone who can use it, no matter how long it has laid underfoot or clogged the closets?

Do people in your congregation believe they have to hang—forever—every gift of art or achmaltz ever given, even the ecclesiastical equivalent of poker-playing dogs on velvet, whether or not it adds anything to the devotional use of the space?

This will take some chutzpah, but it could also be much appreciated by many: first, gather some allies; then, pick a room (how about one that was last decorated by the ECW in the 1970’s?), or even the worship space of the church itself, and remove everything from its walls. Leave them bare for six months to a year, until you’ve had time for what was there before to fade from memory. Repaint or refinish the walls. Then prayerfully consider what piece of art or decorative object “cries out” to be there. What fits the period, the style, the purpose, the location? Even consult a professional about color, shape, and scale, if you lack those skills. The object is to place ONLY those pieces of decorative art that advance the spiritual life of the congregation, and place them where they have the greatest impact—all the while keeping the focus on the point of reference for the entire church, the altar.

There needs to be some place in the church that is the “refrigerator door” of congregational life. It need not be the whole building, though. The church can be a place to be freed from the clutter of our lives, both aesthetic and spiritual.